Revenge jokes

My ex misses me, but her aim is getting better.

Granny says don't worry, the cries of pain are only my ex-husband's.

Some dude called me a tool.

So later I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend.

Guess he was right :/

Suicide is the way to get even with the bitch called probability.

What do you get when Cayden steals your sandwich? A knuckle sandwich.

Somebody stole my joke.

So I stole their spinal cord.

Dog walks into a bar and says, "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw."

I had bullies behind me on the street, but they were too fat and slow, so they got ran over by a truck that represents fat and slow.

What do you do when an orphan gets you mad?

A stab to the neck and a bullet to the face.

A kid named Billy gets his lunch money stolen at school. The bully later gets his allowance, the lunch money, and his wallet taken by his father.

The father then gets all the money taken from him by the bully’s grandfather along with his own wallet. The grandfather then takes the money and gets it stolen by Billy along with his own wallet.

So this guy named Andrew Furda was my boyfriend for like a half a week, so five days. Then bam, I cut my hair. He only liked me for my looks, and I hoped he regrets it because it is WAR, so if you see this, you're going down, Andrew!

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.

Guess who came crawling back.

What is Alan Turing's reincarnation doing?

Getting revenge for what some people said about him being gay.

I got mad at my sister's boyfriend, so I fucked his girl.

So I was at the store and I saw a pretty woman, and I said, "Hi."

Quickly, she said, "I am not interested. I have a husband."

And when I saw the woman again, she said, "I need help."

I said, "No, call your husband!" KARMA. 😂😜

When my girlfriend broke up with me, I took her wheelchair. I always knew she would come crawling back.

They laughed at my crayon drawing.

So I laughed at their chalk outline.

I've always wanted to WAVE to a dolphin, but it could never SEA me.

That dolphin is so WASHED up. WATER you say we get revenge?

Some kids at school made fun of me for playing Halo. I gave them a halo.

My Smoothie Ingredients: - Bananas - Strawberry - The Blood of my ex - Peanut Butter