Remembering jokes

Remember kids, ejaculate, then evacuate.

Papyrus: I hate you, Frisk.

Frisk: This is why Mettaton doesn't fucking love you.

Sans: Kid, I will kill you.

Papyrus: (Remembers something) That's why you don't have a lover, you lonely giraffe!

I’m old enough to remember innocent times when the worst headline was plane hijackers flying into buildings.

Who remembers when ‘tweeting’ meant “stabbing a hooker”?

I remember having a crush on my math teacher, so I winked at her and said, "Don't worry, babe, I'll call you later."

Remember that you're unique, just like everyone else.

You can laugh at how men are stupid. But remember their favorite thing.

It starts with "M" and ends with "arriage".

If you guessed "Marriage" you're stupid. It's miscarriage and don't forget it. The joke never gets old to him. Just like the baby.

Decisions taken by world leaders often have great significance during a crisis.

The Americans, in particular, are suffering many losses during the current global pandemic. Remember, in the 1980's they had Ronald Reagan, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope.

In 2020 they have Donald Trump, no Cash, and no Hope!

I was in social studies class and I was taking an exam and I couldn’t remember a lot of the information and everyone looked up shocked. A white kid holding a gun said, “You’re about to become history.” I almost forgot that we weren’t supposed to have any lessons that day.

We hired this boy to pick up dog poop. We just remembered that we don't have a dog.

Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.

I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

Zozo went to the store and walked out with nothing, why?

Zozo the hobo is a hobo, remember? He doesn’t have any money.

Poooooooooooooooooooooop!

A person went to tell a joke: "Knock knock!" "Who’s there?" "I don’t remember!" (I think we need to moove on to the next joke now.)

I just now made this one up! Then I realized it is in the cow category, so I added the moove on part! 😂

Last night I remember partying with friends to find blood on my nightstand.

Moments after, I scolded my friends to put my alarm clock back where they found it.

I will always remember my dad's last words....

"15 dollars and I'll jump."

Why couldn’t most people remember 9/11?

Because it flew over their heads.

I still remember my granddad's last words,

"Are you still holding the ladder?"

Remember kids, when you're angry, burn down an orphanage. Then they'll really be living the hard knock life.

I only remember my father's last words before he died. He said, "Are you still holding the ladder?"