Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Zozo went to the store and walked out with nothing, why?
Zozo the hobo is a hobo, remember? He doesn’t have any money.
Poooooooooooooooooooooop!
A person went to tell a joke: "Knock knock!" "Who’s there?" "I don’t remember!" (I think we need to moove on to the next joke now.)
I just now made this one up! Then I realized it is in the cow category, so I added the moove on part! 😂
Last night I remember partying with friends to find blood on my nightstand.
Moments after, I scolded my friends to put my alarm clock back where they found it.
I will always remember my dad's last words....
"15 dollars and I'll jump."
Why couldn’t most people remember 9/11?
Because it flew over their heads.
I still remember my granddads last words,
“Are you still holding the ladder?”
Remember kids, when you're angry, burn down an orphanage. Then they'll really be living the hard knock life.
I only remember my father's last words before he died. He said, "Are you still holding the ladder?"
I remember my dad's last words: "I met your father."
What does a cow say when he remembers something?
"I have deja moo!"
I told my Mum, "Will you remember me in 6 minutes, 6 hours, 6 years?"
She said, "Yes."
"Knock knock."
I said, "My mum, who's there? You didn’t remember me!"
Seems very long. You won't remember the telephone number...
I remember it like this from school days in Ireland.
Dolly Parton is shopping for a new bra. A lady says, "Your size is 69." Dolly says, "No way, that's too too too (222) big." So she goes to the doctor. "Doc, I need something to make my boobs smaller." "Here, take (51) pills for 6 days (x6)," and so she did. Days later, she ran back to the doc, "Jesus Christ doctor, look what happened. I'm BOOBLESS!" 55378008 upside down.
White people: *come to America, meet natives and take food, kill them, rape them, and enslave them.*
Natives: Can y-
White people: Hey, you remember all that horrible sh*t we did to you? Let's have a good laugh about it over dinner with your buddies and my new wives.
So you know "The Lion King."
Do you remember Simba?
Well, his dad is really strong, and he walks really fast, but Simba walks really slow.
So I told him to Mufasa.
Lol, I keep stealing my dad's medication money, and the best part is he never remembers.
Two girls have a sleepover.
Karen: Let's go to bed.
Lauren: Fine, but it's early.
*Karen wakes up and exits room*
*Lauren hears noise*
Mikey: You're so much better than my girlfriend, Karen.
Lauren: *laughs*
Lauren: *remembers her boyfriend is Karen's brother, Mikey*
When someone falls, you say to them, "I remember when I started to learn to walk."
I still to this day remember my grandpa's last words.
"I'M ALLERGIC TO FUCKING CATS!"
