Bf: Babe, do you love me?
Gf: Of course, why do you ask?
Bf: I heard that your mom passed away, and I went to pick some roses for you to try to cheer you up, and then I remembered why I went to the garden.
So, y'all remember Hitler, right?
Ok, so I own a gun with Nazi rounds. I shot a guy who was entering my home who wasn't invited. He said, "Did you shoot me with Nazi rounds?" Then I said, "Do you mean 'nein' millimeter?"
Bob: Hey bud, remember we're going to space!
Carol: Really? I forgot to planet.
Me having a good day. Going on a walk on a peaceful day.
My depression: hey, what's up!
Me: go away.
My depression: well how rude.
Me: đ.
My depression: remember that one time......
Me: no, don't even.
My depression: that we.....
Me: nope.
My depression: *says really fast*: said that one stupid joke that wasn't funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilled water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like you do every single night.
Me: đłđ¶đ.
My depression: đ don't worry I'll always be here for you.
My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldnât remember his blood type... His last words to us were, âBe positive!â
When you have sex with a coworker but remember it's a family business.
An orphan walks on a path asking for his mum. Soon he remembers he doesn't have a mum.
(Also, I had sex with ur mum. She was screaming "daddy~")
Once a naked woman robs a bank, but sadly, no one can remember her face...
Remember kids, ejaculate, then evacuate.
Papyrus: i hate you frisk Frisk: This is why mettaton doesn't fucking love you Sans: Kid i will kill you Papyrus: (Remembers something) Thats why you don't have a lover you lonely giraffe
Iâm old enough to remember innocent times when the worst headline was plane hijackers flying into buildings.
Who remembers when âtweetingâ meant âstabbing a hookerâ?
I remember having a crush on my math teacher, so I winked at her and said, "Don't worry, babe, I'll call you later."
Remember that you're unique, just like everyone else.
You can laugh at how men are stupid. But remember their favorite thing.
It starts with "M" and ends with "arriage".
If you guessed "Marriage" you're stupid. It's miscarriage and don't forget it. The joke never gets old to him. Just like the baby.
Decisions taken by world leaders often have great significance during a crisis.
The Americans, in particular, are suffering many losses during the current global pandemic. Remember, in the 1980's they had Ronald Reagan, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope.
In 2020 they have Donald Trump, no Cash, and no Hope!
I was in social studies class and I was taking an exam and I couldnât remember a lot of the information and everyone looked up shocked. A white kid holding a gun said, âYouâre about to become history.â I almost forgot that we werenât supposed to have any lessons that day.
We hired this boy to pick up dog poop. We just remembered that we don't have a dog.
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I canât remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Zozo went to the store and walked out with nothing, why?
Zozo the hobo is a hobo, remember? He doesnât have any money.
