Religion jokes

What did God say to the black person?

"Oops, I burned one."😳

Not racist, just funny.

I'm still wondering who took Jesus' sandals.

Even the one who ate that dove that sat at Jesus' shoulder. 🤔

I am sure this was the type of economy Judas Iscariot was in when he betrayed Jesus.

Your hairline is so far away that Jesus could've seen it when he was on the cross.

Looking out for becoming a pilot, can y'all suggest some good mosques?

Don't want to learn the landing part, though, Allah said it's unnecessary.

Finally, some social platform where you can talk about Muslims and not get bombed.

Obv, unless you share your residence.

Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.

YOOO, does anyone need an ark? I know a guy!

Why are Demons dying from Priestwater? The soul from a Priest is completely different.

Is that my student?

Na! It is Jesus!

Is that a person over there?

Na, it's Jesus.

Sister: Why does shampoo have directions?

Me: 'Cause God made you.

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class.

One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, “Tell me, April, who created the universe?” When April didn’t stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. “GOD ALMIGHTY!” shouted April and the teacher said, “Very good,” and April fell back asleep.

A while later the teacher asked April, “Who is our Lord and Savior?” But, April didn’t even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. “JESUS CHRIST!” shouted April and the teacher said, “very good,” and April fell back to sleep.

Then the teacher asked April a third question. “What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?” And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, “IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I’LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!” The Teacher fainted.

In Denver, the members of a Sunday-school class were asked to set down their favorite biblical truths.

One youngster laboriously printed: “Do one to others as others do one to you.” —Lee Olson, The Denver Post

Why is a priest different from acne?

Acne waits to come on your face.

Why do priests play Geometry Dash? Cuz they can beat Demons.

And so the Lord said unto John, "Come forth, and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

Why do you think after death the angel says do not be afraid?

Search up biblically accurate angels.

What do gay guys and priests have in common?

They are both gay in their own ways.

What’s the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and a priest?

They both like lil' boys.