So I went to the gym and I found a hymn.
Why do priests like kids in wheelchairs? Because they can’t run.
If you shit in a church, is it a holy shit?
Roses are red, don’t touch the toys, these are what the priests use to lure in the boys.
A wise man once said, "don't think young, think tight." He was a priest.
A drunk walks out of a bar late at night and sees a nun walking past on the footpath. He utters something hateful to himself as he begins running, building momentum before launching himself at the nun, catching her with a massive superman punch to the back of the head, knocking her tumbling brutally to the pavement.
He proceeded with a swift kicking to the nun's ribs and spine before grabbing the nun by the scruff of her habit and lifting her limp to her feet till face to face. Looking the nun dead in her eyes with menace, the drunk victoriously growled, "You're not so bloody tough tonight, are ya, Batman?"
A man goes into heaven and there he meets Jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says, "That is Mother Teresa's clock, it has never moved because she has never lied." "There is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He has lied twice so it has moved twice." "Where is Donald Trump's?" asks the man. Jesus answers, "It is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."
A nun went to the pub and ordered a gin the bartender said to her I thought nuns weren’t allowed to drink and she said not usually but I am doing the bishop a favour the bartender then asked if she was coming to the music evening and she said no I am with the bishop tonight.
Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell, not heaven? Because it's a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.
What do Jesus and I have in common? Our dads left us...
Two priests are in a bar. One says to the other priest, "I'll swap you two fives for a ten."
A 23 year old priest walks into a high school with an automatic weapon. He tells those who believe in God to stand up and leave.
To the children who don't leave, he says, "Do not worry my children, I shall make thou 'hole-y' as well."
He then proceeds to shoot all of the students left.
Steven Hawking said god isn’t real and the Priest put a Boot on his tire 😂😂😂
Salman Rushdie got a new book out.
It's called "Buddha. You Fat Cunt."
One of the reasons the skeleton was not allowed to play church music is because he had no organs.
Did you hear about the flood at the circus? Lots of people drowned, and there were two clowns that survived and two nuns still in the audience.
The two clowns ran over to the two nuns, and each one put a nun on his shoulder. Then they waded out of the big top, up to their waists in the rapid, turbulent water. As they were reaching dry land, one clown said to the other, "If you ask me, this is virgin on the ridiculous!"
A bat mitzvah for sheep is a baaaaaat mitzvah!
Did you hear about the Mormons?
Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell?
Because it’s a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.
What the difference between MetaCareForAll and the resurrection of our lord and saviour Jesus Christ? One of them is an unrealistic fantasy that can never come true because it wouldnt work. The other one is the resurrection our lord and saviour Jesus Christ. (Ben Shapiro 2020)
