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Religion jokes

What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?

One's got hope in her soul, the other's got soap in her hole.

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    • Q: What do the St. Louis Rams and Billy Graham have in common?

    A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell, “Jesus Christ.”

    What's the difference between acne and the Pope?

    Acne waits till you're 13 to cum on your face.

    A man who desperately wanted to be good after serving time in prison was visited by an Angel. "You want to change? You can still enter heaven on two conditions. You must bet on the horses with any money you have and pass your winnings to someone less fortunate, and you must never hold on to any beef." The Angel then disappeared.

    The man did as was told and became generous and kind. As he emerged from the betting office with all his money, he would pass every penny of it all to a deserving person each and every time.

    He, however, couldn't seem to avoid meat and would still eat it no matter what.

    When he died, the Angel came back for him.

    "But I'm undeserving; I can't come with you," he said.

    "Yes, you can," replied the Angel, "you gave all your stake (steak) away."

    What's the difference between my imaginary friend and God?

    None.

    They're both imaginary.

    Why did God invent yeast infections? So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt too.

    I went up to a priest and asked if he participated in NNN. He replied, "How can I, with all these people calling me daddy?"

    What's the difference between acne and a priest?

    Acne waits until you're a teen to cum on your face.

    What's the difference between Jesus and a dead, naked baby?

    I don't worship Jesus.

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    • What’s the difference between a pimple and a Priest?

    You see, a pimple wouldn’t normally come on a kid until he’s 13 years old.

    It’s Christmas. Merry Christmin. Merry Chrirismas. Merry Chrisis. Merry Chrsyler.

    What do they use in communion when they run out of bread?

    Doughnuts, because they're holy.