Religion jokes
If you're sleeping, and you fall in your dream, you may have died, and the angels dropped you.
Or you don't wake up, and you were on your way to hell.
One day I was at church. I had to sit down. I said, "Who in the world stinks?" I looked down. Turns out it was me, and this is not a joke, but funny.
What did the airplane say to the tower? Allahu Akbar!
Does anyone know where I can get that picture that went around the internet of Steven Hawking looking at the stairway to Heaven and saying “Oh Fu-k”?
Why did the orphans go to the church?
Because they need someone to call "father."
Why do Roman Catholics always call their minister father?
because Roman Catholic men between 18-29 years old received a free anonymous blowjob inside the confessional booth at the glory hole.
What to gift a child molester who already has everything? A bigger county with more believers.
Do you know how to make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
The bird was trying to cross the road because there was a church, but instead, the birds chirp chirp chirp, "Let's go to church!"
What is the difference between whores and nuns?
Nuns usually discover their own chosen vocation. Whores usually have their vocation chosen by pimps.
Why does an orphan have to go to church? Because that's the only way he can pray for a father.
What do a politician and a minister have in common?
Both of them will tell you anything to get money from you.
What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? A prostitute won't tell you that it is more blessed to give than it is to receive.
What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? You don't get something in return if you give money to a church.
What is the difference between giving money to a church and giving money to the IRS?
If you stop giving money to a church, you won't go to prison.
What do the initials BIBLE stand for?
Bull In Book Lacking Evidence
Why did the Catholic priest suck dick at a glory hole?
Because someone asked him what he would do for a Klondike bar.
How do you trick a Catholic priest into using the glory hole at an adult bookstore? Tell him it is a confessional booth.
What does a glory hole and a confessional booth have in common?
A blowjob is anonymous.
What do you call a devil texting you? Travelers on the way. 😈🤣