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I apologise for this joke lmfaooo, and you have probably heard this banger before, anyways;

What is the difference between a priest and a zit? 👀 The zit waits till you are 13 to come on your face 🤧

  • 2

    • A priest walks into a wine store.

    "Do you have any 10-year-olds?" Seller: "What the f- Oh, you meant 10-year-old wine." Priest: "I said what I said."

    God promised John that if he came in 1st, he would get an eternal life, but instead he came in 5th and got a kettle!

    Q: What's the difference between Jesus and a picture?

    A: One uses one nail to hang.

    What do Catholic priests and school shooters have in common?

    They both like to dump their loads into little kids.

  • 0

    • Me playing a game........ What, did God just stop our hearts because he didn't kill everybody?

    Me playing a game...

    What did God just stop? Are hearts cause we didn't kill each other.

    Like if that was good.

    Going to church, you don't think you are Christian.

    Sleeping with ten men, you don't think you are straight.

    So, I was watching YouTube, and then my friend says, "Those videos never get old." I replied, "Just like a Make-A-Wish kid." After I said that, he shot me in the head and said, "And now neither do you." Now I’m in Heaven, and God says to me, "Welcome to Paradise where it is summer days, clear skies," and I said, "Are there summer women?" Now here I am in Hell with my buddy Hitler. I believe he’s a hero after he killed Hitler.

    One night when I was six, I had this super annoying accent, and when I said the number "six," Oh no... One night my Catholic priest asked me how many cookies I needed for my family. I told him six, but thanks to my accent being mixed with many others including Scottish, French, and Russian, it sounded like I said "I need to have sex." He looked at me strange then pulled me into a closet, being a pedo.

    When Momma asked me why I was missing for 6 hours, I told her, "I went to get the cookies like you told me to, and father raped the Christianity out of me." The angry look she gave my father was amazing. Then with my Papa, she beat the hell outta him.

    Serves him right.

  • 4

    • Suzy: How did Jonah fit in the whale?

    Teacher: Whales are very big but have small mouths, so Jonah did not actually fit in the whale.

    Suzy: Well, the Bible says he did.

    Teacher: He did not.

    Suzy: When I get to heaven I will ask him how he fit in.

    Teacher: How do you know he went to heaven? Maybe he went to hell.

    Suzy: Then you can ask him.