Relatives jokes
What did the cow say to his relatives on Christmas day?
Moorry Christmas!
(Even though cows can't really have religions.)
What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.
The other day I took my Grandma to one of those fish spas where the little fish eat your dead skin. It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.
I like my women like my family, they’re related.
I told my cousin since we're not blood-related our parents would let us date.
Her pants were on fire.
The last thing I told my ex after we broke up was, "At least we're still cousins!" 😂
Looks like the gene pool in your family is about three inches deep.
What do you call skeletons having sex?
When the relationship is dead, but you're still fucking.
Cousins make dozens.
Closer kin, deeper in!
That awkward moment you try to relate to Batman by killing your parents.
Orphan: I want to be a relator.
Teacher: Why?
Orphan: Because I never had one in my childhood.
Why don't Jedi like their female relatives?
Because they are Sith-ters.
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.
- That girl was hot. - She's my cousin!
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Two gay lovers find out they are brothers.
I will always remember my grandfather's last words: "I'll just check if it's poisonous."
What happens when you get a virus-related sickness? It goes viral on Twitter!
"Are you related to Yoda?"
"Because yo-delicious!"
It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. “No,” says the neighbor. “The seat is empty.” “This is incredible,” said the man. “Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?” The neighbor says, “Well, actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.” “Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible... But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbor to take her seat?” The man shakes his head. “No,” he says. “They’re all at the funeral.”
Why is the sun red today?
The sun turned red today. Here's why. As an enormous Atlantic storm batters Ireland, a related phenomenon is turning heads further east over in the United Kingdom. ... Just like the way sunsets are sometimes red, excess particles in the atmosphere can change the color of the sun in the daytime.