What's a penguin's favorite relative?
Relatives Jokes
I hate family reunions.
I see too many of my ex's there.
Sometimes I feel ugly, then I think of my sister and feel better.
Incest. A game the whole family can play.
What's worse than having ants in your pants?
Uncles.
What do you call an orphan's family reunion? "Me time."
Some people think incest jokes are funny.
I just think it's all relative.
Why was the ant so confused?
All of its uncles were ants.
A guy wins a free ticket to the Super Bowl and so he’s very excited.
However, he’s not so excited when he gets there and realizes his seat’s in the back of the stadium.
So he looks around him for a better seat, and to his surprise he finds an empty seat right next to the field.
He approaches the older guy who’s sitting in the seat next to the empty one and asks if the seat is taken.
The man replies, “No.”
The young guy is very surprised to hear this and asks, “How could someone pass up a seat like this?”
The older guy replies, “It’s my wife’s seat. We’ve been to every Super Bowl together since the day we were married but she’s passed away.”
“Oh, how sad,” the young guy says, taken aback. “I’m sorry to hear that, but couldn’t you find a friend or relative to come with you?”
“No,” the man replies, “They’re all at the funeral.”
What did the cow say to his relatives on Christmas day?
Moorry Christmas!
(Even though cows can't really have religions.)
What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.
When your friend asks why you don't smile, then you look at them and realize no one is there because you have no friends. #my life
The other day I took my Grandma to one of those fish spas where the little fish eat your dead skin.
It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.
The last thing I told my ex after we broke up was, "At least we're still cousins!" 😂
Looks like the gene pool in your family is about three inches deep.
Cousins make dozens.
Closer kin, deeper in!
Why don't Jedi like their female relatives?
Because they are Sith-ters.
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.
- That girl was hot. - She's my cousin!
I will always remember my grandfather's last words: "I'll just check if it's poisonous."
