Why are Alabamians so resentful of immigrants?
They don't want their sons and daughters to have sex with anyone other than their siblings or relatives.
Relatives Jokes
What’s worse than ants in your pants?
Uncles.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.
Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
Alcoholics don't run in my family, they drive.
Yo mama so hairy that the zookeepers called a code red thinking an ape got loose.
What do you call an orphan with no relatives?
An orphan with no relatives.
Q: What do orphans call a family reunion?
A: Me time.
A husband and wife at custody court. The judge looks sternly at the ex-wife.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child?"
Ex-wife: "I brought him into this world, so I should have custody of him."
Judge: "That is a simple yet good reason."
Then the judge looks toward the ex-husband.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?"
The ex-husband thought long and hard about his response. After a brief moment of silence, he replies, "If I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out, is it mine or the machine's?"
When my family goes to weddings, my senior relatives tell me things like “You’re next!” So I started doing the same to them at funerals.
Do trees pee?
How else do we have No. 1 pencils?
My entire family "TAKE THIS GIRL TO AN ASYLUM!!!"
Me "OH NO" 💀
Bin Laden's relatives died in a plane crash on 8/1. 🤣🤣🤣
Bin Laden's relatives were killed in a plane crash, lol.
Bin Laden's relatives died in a plane crash on 8/1! #justice
I have the heart of my mom, the face of my dad, the eyes of my grandpa, the ears of my grandma, and the hair of my uncle. We don't look anything alike; I just collect body parts.
I'm sorry, orphans, that you're getting bullied. Oh, I have to go, my MOM's calling me. We're going on a road trip to go to a FAMILY reunion!
Your mama so fat she’s on both sides of the family.
Why did the orphan go to the monkey exhibit?
To see his closest relatives.
When you meet your gf at the family reunion.
You and your sister always get into a fight and she says, "I don't care." Then you say right away, "About you!"
Everyone else seems to have met my dad. I only have the mugshots.
