Relationship jokes
Jack and Jill Went up the hill to have some hanky panky.
Silly Jill forgot her pill. And now there's little Franky.
I love you like my cuts.
Deeply.
I've decided to marry a pencil. I can't wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.
Most states:
"It's ok, it won't be awkward. We're still friends."
Alabama:
"She didn't wanna be my girlfriend anymore. But she said she'll still be my sister."
Why do I only date orphans?
Because they never have daddy issues.
Memes
đŽâđ¨ KAREN
My wife asked me to help cure her from sucking her thumb. So I drew a cock on it.
You want to hear some marriage jokes?
Don't worry, it's just a couple.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy."
A woman comes to the doctor and tells her, "Doctor, my husband wants intense sex all day, what should I give him?" The doctor says, "My number."
The wife said, "Honey! Do you like my new teeth?"
The husband replied, "They remind me of stars, darling!"
"Yellow and far apart."
New study reveals that women slightly overweight live longer... than the men who mention it.
Johnny Depp once said in an interview: "I get older, my girlfriends stay the same age."
Maybe Johnny Depp's soulmate isn't born yet. We'll see in 20-25 years.
When me and my friend went to the market, my friend tried to scan my arm, and I asked her what she was doing. She answered, "Oh, I had to buy you so I don't steal you."
Therapist: So what brought you here today?
Wife: He's too literal.
Therapist: And you, sir?
Husband: My truck.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have no one to call daddy.
No matter how much I love cake...
I would never dessert you.
Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex.
They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch and think that their wife should be really happy.
What are the three worst words to hear while you are having sex?
Honey, I'm home!
I thought my wife was joking when she said she was gonna leave me because I wouldnât stop singing âI'm a believer,â but then I saw her face.
A pregnant wife and her husband were in a hospital as she was in labor. The doctor suggested using a machine that transfers the birth pains from the mother to the father. They agree, so the machine is used. 40%, the husband feels nothing, 70% still not feeling anything, 100%, nothing.
The doctor says it must be broken. When the pair return home, the milkman is dead in the front yard.