Relationship Jokes

If there is a divorce in West Virginia Are they still brother and Sister?

1 and 2 fell in love the 2 said your the only 1 for me!

A wife decided to leave for a vacation, leaving her husband in supervision of her mother and her cat. After a few days, she called her husband and asked, “How is everything going?” He responded with, “The cat is dead.” She cried out and said, “Why couldn’t you’ve broken the new slowly? You could have said the cat is playing on the roof or on the first day, and the next say it broke its leg, then the next that the poor things dead! Anyways, how’s my mom?” “She’s playing on the roof.”

Girl: .... I like you... do you like me back? Me: Nope Girl: *is depressed* oh okay.... Me: u never said "love" Girl: oh! well do you love me? Me: frick no.

Why did Helen Keller’s boyfriend have wax on his finger? Because he was whispering sweet nothings into her ear!

How do you know when you girlfriend is to young ?

you have to make airoplane noises to get her to open her mouth..

sorry

i will never forget my girlfriends last words..."get off of me STOP"*slurp*...Dead

Woman- What’s a good comeback for my sexist husband when he tells me to go make him a sandwich

Husband- I know! How about you COMEBACK with a godda*n sandwich?

What is the difference between you're girlfriend and you're sister

There both sweet home Alabama

A wife asked her husband, "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?" He looked at her from head to toe and replied, "I like your sense of humor!"

Guy: Whose place? Mine or yours? Girl: Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal. I wanted to tell him “well can we get what we both want?” “ I was already planning on dying anyway.”