Reason

Reason Jokes

Octopus

Why did the octopus cross the road?

'Cause he was on the same side as a sushi restaurant.

Ceiling fan

If I don't find a reason to live soon, my ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's gonna be hanging from my ceiling.

Foot

Why did my foot cross the road?

Because your ass was on the other side.

Duck

Me: *posts random joke about a duck*

That one guy in the comment section for no reason: "Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you..."

That other guy in the comment section: "That’s actually offensive to ducks."

Bro it’s a joke...

Skeleton

One of the reasons the skeleton was not allowed to play church music is because he had no organs.

Pedophile

My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday. I asked her why. She said, "Because you're a pedophile." I replied, "Pedophile! That's a big word for an eight year old."

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  • Number

    So we all know why 6 was afraid of 7, because 7 ate 9, but why was 10 scared? It was in between 9/11.

    Mum

    Your mum is so smart, but she still can’t figure out why she had you.

    Phone Call

    One day, little Sally hears the phone ringing. She picks it up.

    "Hello, this is daddy, Sally. Is your mom nearby?"

    Sally says, "No, she's upstairs with Uncle John."

    "Uncle John? I don't know an Uncle John."

    "No, no, no, you must be mistaken, daddy."

    "No, I'm sure there's no one named Uncle John in our family."

    "Okay, but why did you call?" Says Sally.

    "Ummm, no reason, just tell mommy that daddy's pulling into the driveway right now."

    "Okay daddy!"

    *long pause*

    "Okay daddy! I did it!"

    "Great job Sally! What did she say?"

    "Mommy said OH FU.. and then she ran around with no clothes on and tripped on the carpet and hit her head on the bookshelf. She's now resting it looks like... then Uncle John screams and jumps out the window into the swimming pool, but of course we took all the water out this winter..."

    Then dad replies "Swimming pool? We don't have a... is this 468-1843?"

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  • Emo

    Why do Emos always wear black like ninjas?

    Because they're always cutting.

    Emo

    Why do emos hang themselves? Because no one wants to hang around them.

    Pie

    Why should you never talk to pie at a party? Because it goes on forever.