Reason jokes
Why do vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?
Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don’t like where real meat comes from.
What is the real reason why men jack off? They just enjoy killing kids.
Why did Michael Jackson dangle a baby over a balcony?
He wanted to clean out the blanket.
For some reason, when my mom eats hot dogs, she likes to lick and suck on it first. As a son, can anyone tell me why?
Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat?
Because if they fell forward, they'd still be on the boat.
Why did the emo break up with her boyfriend?
He didn't wanna hang out.
Wanna know why I don’t make suicidal jokes?
Because I am one.
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
To be wanted.
Q. Why did the orphan rob a bank?
A. To feel wanted for the first fucking time.
Priests are called father because it would be suspicious to call him daddy.
Why couldn't the chicken cross the road?
Because it was disabled.
I bought a rainbow gun, but for some reason it doesn’t shoot straight.
The maid asked her boss, the wife, for a raise, and the wife was upset.
The wife asked, "Why do you think you deserve a pay increase?"
Maid: "There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you."
Wife: "Who said that?"
Maid: "Your husband."
Wife: "Oh."
Maid: "The second reason is that I am a better cook than you."
Wife: "Who said that?"
Maid: "Your husband."
Wife: "Oh."
Maid: "The third reason is that I am better at sex than you."
Wife: "Did my husband say that as well?"
Maid: "No, the gardener did."
Wife: "So how much do you want?"
I gave an orphan an iPhone X for a reason.
It doesn’t have a home button.
Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?
-You have to be alive to have autism.
Why can’t orphans be criminals?
Because they’re unwanted.🤣😢
Why did the brother cross the road? Because the sister farted.
Why did the sperm cross the road? ———— because I put on the wrong sock today.
Boi, you're the reason the Great Wall of China is a thing. You're so ugly the Chinese needed to block you out!
If the shoe fits perfectly, why did it fall off?