Reason jokes
1. If being ugly was a crime, you would have a life sentence.
2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships.
3. There is a tree out there giving you oxygen, and you owe that tree an apology.
4. I don’t hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.
5. When I saw your dad on the sidewalk, I didn’t laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
6. If I had powers, I would make you the dumbest person alive, but it seems life already beat me to the punch.
7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it.
8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.
9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting.
10. Were you born on a highway, 'cause that’s where most accidents happen?
11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya.
12. You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented.
I punched my mom for no freaking reason.
There's only one reason our Education Minister is standing by this curriculum.
In her religion, you NEVER pull out.
So, if the reason people used to hang women was because they were seen as witches back in the day, if boys were to be hung, would they be called wizards?
Why is the Moon red today?
The reason why the Moon takes on a reddish color during totality is a phenomenon called Rayleigh scattering. It is the same mechanism responsible for causing colorful sunrises and sunsets, and for the sky to look blue.
The teacher was terrified to hear Little Johnny swear.
“I never want you to use language like that again. Where on earth did you pick it up?”
“From my father,” said Johnny.
“Well, he should be ashamed of himself. And it’s no reason for you to talk like that. You don’t even know what it means.”
“I do,” said Johnny. “It means the car won’t start.”
Why did the kid with Down syndrome get expelled?
He was always tardy.
Why did the blind man get killed? Because he never saw it coming.
Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive?
A: Because she's a woman.
Why was Stephen Hawking good at football? Because he is a pro dribbler.
Your mom is so fat she was the reason why the Titanic crashed.
Why did my dad leave me?
Because I was gay.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
'Cause 7 8 9.
A man named Icide ruined my life. I asked a friend if he would help me sue him. He said yes. But for some reason, he killed me.
All I wanted was for someone to help me sue Icide...
Why is six scared of seven? Because 7 8 9.
Then why was 10 scared? Because he was between 9/11.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the wall and got unplugged.
Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms.
For some reason a group of emo kids are following me because I gave them a Happy Meal.
Why is calculus called calc? Because you need a calculator. Lol.
When I get suicidal, everyone worries. I don't know why because that is when I'm the happiest, thinking about death.