Why did the mushroom get a new house?
Because there wasn’t mushroom!
A 10-year-old: "I don't want to smile without having a reason to. People shouldn't think I'm happy 24/7."
A 10-year-old, a week later: "Damn... my life is shitty..."
<2 years later> 12-year-old: "What is de-pre-ssion?" *googles it*
Now 14-year-old: "Oh..."
Suicidal ideation is like wanting to slaughter someone but knowing/feeling that you can't. It's also, in a way, kind of like seeing a really hot chick that you wish you could F, but you again for whatever reason you either feel you can't or you just can't.
Why was 7 afraid of 6?
Because 6 8 7.
Why are you gay? Because I said so!
Why did the Indian cross the road?
To get to the curry shop.
Why won't my boyfriend eat my pie? His brother made it.
One of the reasons the skeleton was not allowed to play church music is because he had no organs.