Why did the Romans build straight roads? So the Pakis (bastards) didn't build corner shops.
In my science class we were watching a video, and for no reason at all, it started talking about Black Lives Matter, and my friend leaned over and whispered, “White lives matter more!”
Why are Americans so good at solving Rubik’s cubes?
Because they have a history of separating colors.
What sound does an Indian make when you're trying to fuck it? ieieieie.
Don’t blame Bush; he is white. It couldn’t have been him.
So all blondes are dumb, right?
Is that why there are so many more white people that are blonde than Black?
Michael proved anything is possible in America. Where else can a poor black boy grow up to be a rich white woman?
You're so black, when you get near the sun, we go into a solar eclipse.
Your hairline goes farther back to Rosa Parks' seat.
If you really think about it, every market in Africa is a black market.
If a black person calls you a cracker, let them say it. You can say things they can't say, like, "Thanks for the warning, officer!"
Who is the fastest reader? 9/11, it went through 10 stories in 7 seconds.
What did the Chinese girl say when she had a white baby?
"Sum Ting Wong."
Why can't two Chinese people have a white baby? Because two "wongs" don't make a "white."
Guys, why are we being racist? Why can't we love each other, please? Gimme that dick, boy. Please stop fighting. Let's love each other and them big ole dicks, please. Gimme that dick. I hate racism.
What did God say when he made the Black human? Oh no, I burnt another one!
This black dude goes up to an Indian guy and says, "What up brotha?"
The Indian guy gets offended and says, "We are not the same."
The black guy then pulls out a gun, and the Indian guy says, "Ok brother, ok brother, we are the same, we are the same."
Do the voice in your head.
So do you guys know those waterslides that you stand in, and then they suddenly drop you straight down onto the water slide? If not, look them up on YouTube, there's nothing like them.
Ah yes, the sweet memories of my first time on one of these. I feel that my mental/emotional scars have healed enough to tell this gem.
At the time my girlfriend, now Fiancée, worked as a photographer for one of those resorts with the indoor and outdoor water parks. One of her perks was that her and a family member/friend could get into the waterpark for free, so one hot summer day she had off and we both decided it'd be fun to go there and cool down for the day.
While we were there, I discovered one of there most "Thrilling" looking waterslides. Basically you stand in this tube, and then the slide operator presses a button and this slide drops you straight down a good 90 FEET, before you actually start going down the water slide. Me, being a thrill seeker, of course had to try it. So I made the great climb up to the top of the slide, stood in line, and finally it was my turn. Once I got in the tube, the operator told me to keep my legs crossed. Now I'm a pretty big heavy guy, so I was like "That's uncomfortable as fuck, I'm not doing that."
So there I was standing in the tube, having a panic attack from anticipation, with my legs not crossed. The operator finally presses the button, the bottom opens and I fall straight down the water slide. Very quickly I realized why they have you cross your legs. Water shot so far up my ass, so fast, I swear I tasted it in my mouth. My body raced down that slide, as I questioned every life choice that I have ever made.
Once I made it to the bottom, I sat there for a moment, absolutely violated. I felt like someone in an episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. I built up the courage to finally stand up, and all I could feel was the nice warm stream of water mixed with shit, and maybe a little bit of blood shoot out of my ass faster than the Steamboat Geyser at Yellowstone National Park. I quickly got off the slide and ran to the bathroom, with a trail of shitty water tailing me as the slide operator stared in awe. They had to shut down the slide for the rest of the day :'), but man was my asshole clean after that!
Moral of the story: Keep your damn legs crossed on waterslides.
Same thing goes when you are at bible study with a handsy priest.
How do you blindfold an Asian?
You use dental floss.
We were versing year 8 at footy, and they were mostly black, so I told my white friend to WATCH OUT!!!
