Question jokes
A salamander came by me the other day and he AXOLOTL questions. Ba dum tss!!!
What do you call a burning orphan in a wheelchair? Hot Wheels.
What hit the ground first, the orphan or the apple? The apple. The orphan never hit the ground.
Why are orphans so gayyyyyyy?
If you had a friend like me, would you kill me?
I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."
Gwen, hi, this is well, I am not saying, are you a girl? I thought you were a girl, but I could be wrong.
Confusion life question!!!
* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?
So, this guy, right? He has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog.
About 2 weeks after he loses everything, he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "What do you mean by 'blowing chunks'?" says the boss. The man replies with, "Chunks is the name of my dog..."
What did the girl say to the man with a moustache?
I moustache you a question.
What is
One man said, "Do you need 20 bucks?"
The other said, "Do you have that many?"
"Why can’t you be comfortable with my own body?"
"I think you should ask yourself that."
Why couldn't the girl with no arms hug her parents?
Because she had none of the above.
What time would it be if Godzilla came to school? Time to run!
A robot walks into a bar and orders a martini.
The bartender is flabbergasted that a robot can do that.
"New around here?" said the bartender.
"Nah, been here a while," said the robot.
Bartender "You can talk?"
Robot "Yeah, pretty cool, huh."
Bartender "Why do you want a martini?"
Robot "Oh, I'm just in the mood for one, you know?"
The bartender is shocked to see a robot making completely normal small talk.
The robot seems to be just like a normal human.
"Wow, who programmed you?" asked the bartender.
"The top minds in the world," said the robot.
The robot speaks again, "I have a question for you..."
Bartender, "What?"
"Why did you read this entire story? It does not have a punchline. I just wasted your time. Get bamboozled, nerd!"
What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?
"Where are the kids?"
"This is the dude who assassinated JFK."
"If you got a question, just shoot!"
Who are you to believe if you don't believe in unicorns?
How many people fit in a tree?
I don't know, you tell me.
How do you call a man with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.