Question

Question jokes

Class

  • I've got not much of anything to be honest.

    Been in special classes in school.

    Not liked by people.

    Only relationship I've ever had and she cheated on me.

    31 years old and never had sex, pathetic.

    Not very smart.

    Don't look good.

    Hate myself more than anything.

    Been a failure at everything in life.

    Probably be alone forever.

    People treat me like crap.

    Can't do anything right.

    And the list goes on and on.

    So the question is why haven't I killed myself yet? The answer is, I forget. I'm a extreme procrastinator, keep just putting it off because I'll probably just fuck it up anyway.

    Child

  • What say the child to the man? Shalom.

    Man come later give the child: "Here, what you asked for!"

    Child: "No, sir! I say Shabbat Shalom. I not ask for salmon!"

    Man: "It may be the coin in me ear, hard to hear."

    Reality

  • A boy is working on his English homework and asks his father for some help. "Dad, what's the difference between 'potential' and 'reality'?"

    His dad replies, "I'll tell you what. Go ask your mother if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for a million bucks. Then go ask your sister if she'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks. Once you have their answers, you'll know the difference."

    So the boy goes to his mother and poses the question: "Would she sleep with Robert Redford for a million bucks?"

    She answers, "Don't tell your Dad, but yes, I certainly would!"

    The boy then goes to his sister and asks her his next question: "Would she sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks?"

    "Oh definitely!" she answers, without a moment's thought.

    The boy goes back to his father, an expression of understanding on his face.

    "You're right, Dad, I know the difference now. Potentially, we're sitting on two million bucks. In reality, we're living with a couple of sluts."

  • 0
  • Neck

  • Hannes asks his mother, "Mom, why are the peanuts called peanuts?" Mom replies, "Because they grow in the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why don't strawberries grow in the earth?" Mom replies: "The giraffes originally had a short neck, but it has grown from giraffe to giraffe. The same thing happened with the strawberries. They grew in the earth and grew higher from harvest to harvest until at some point their stems protruded from the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why is my neck so short?" The mother replies: "So many people died in the First and Second World Wars that our necks could not develop at all. It was the same in the Thirty Years' War. We humans have been in so many wars. The giraffes in none and that's why our neck is so short."

  • 1
  • Talk

  • I call this my great talk with Siri.

    Me: Hey Siri, give me a "yo mama" joke.

    Siri: My mother? Huh?

    Me: Did I stutter?

    Siri: Interesting question.

    Me: It wasn’t a question.

    Siri: I’m not sure I understand?

    Me: You should understand.

    Siri: Hmm... Is there something else I can help with?

    Me: No, you b***.

  • 1
  • Stork

  • A young boy asked his Dad, "Was it true that we come from a Stork?"

    Dad said, "It is, Son."

    Son says, "Who fucks a Stork?"

  • 1
  • Legend

  • Hi, I'm Claire. I am new to this website. I have been seeing these "Legends," and I've been tracking one specifically, watersharky. I have questions about him. Is he nice, protective, single? If anyone has any more information about him, please tell me.

    Condom

  • You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.