Halloween! The day nobody questions the bodies dangling in your tree!
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.
"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"
The boy licked his cone and replied:
"Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!"
One day I was jogging through the park and I saw this lady sitting next to a pond in a wheelchair with no legs and arms and said "Why are you crying" she said she had never been hugged I gave her a hug and jogged away.The next day i saw her again and asked her the same question she said "I've never been kissed" I gave her a kiss and went, The third day i asked her thrice and she said I've never been fucked I picked her up from her wheelchair and throwed her in the pond and said your fucked now She didn't make it:)
What number is better; 46 or 47? Idk, ask the kid with Down syndrome.
I have a question, does aging affect corpses too? just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!
*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?
my mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT me: what's for dinner Mom and Dad: food The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD my brother and sister what's for dinner: mr: food ;-;
I asked the orphan kid if his mom is hot. He just started crying
A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat and the priest says bad boys and then his friend says what Kibab do you want and the priest says bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do
An asian student was learning logarithm in class, he wrote down his name after the question, teacher asked why, "my class ID is number 1"
What did Obama ask Trump
Who am I?
My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden. He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, " You have to dig a little."
I said Urainus! And the girl beside me face palmed :/ I wonder what i did wrong?
Everybody asks "Whats up" but nobody asks "Whats down"
How do you annoy Pinocchio? Ask him "Do you always tell lies?" (think about it)
Today my mom gave me a lecture on how to stay safe during school shootings and when my brother walked past my mom asked me a question "what do you think of going through kids heads during a school shooting " That's when my brother came back downstairs and said to me and my mom "bullets" we don't talk about this anymore
Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and whent up to her mom and asked "mom I have hair on my privates,what is it?" "OH honey thats your monkey." The mom says So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says "my monkey has hair on it" so the sister replies with a laugh "you think thats cool my monkey is already eating bananas
Signs my cousin is going places when he's older: TEST QUESTION: where was the declaration of independence signed? He wrote: at the bottom of the page. Smart kid
A panda walks into a bar, he asked the bar tender for a sandwich and then proceeds to shoot him the leaves the bar. Later on, after asking witnesses, the police track down the panda and take him to the station. They question him and ask, “why’d you do it?” The panda replied, “it’s what pandas do, look it up.” So they did, they went on Wikipedia and there it was: Pandas eat shoots and leaves.
