Father O'Reilly ran into a young woman whose mother attended his church at the market. "Ah Mary Agnes, congratulations!"
She gave him a puzzled look. "on what?"
"Your mother tells me you've been praying to St. Gerard and finally got pregnant, it's a miracle."
Mary Agnes sighed. "My mother needs to get hearing aids if she's going to eavesdrop on my phone calls to friends. I said it'll be a miracle if I get pregnant since the only thing I'm fucking is a St. Bernard."
a girl tried 77.34 (77.34) times to think of a word oppisite word of BYE.then her brother divided the word BYE. 77.34 divided by 100. TRY IT!!
8008135 is my favorite number. The worst ratio is 6:9. And last but not least, "Why was six afraid of seven?' Seven eight nine. But why was six with nine? Because when you put them together you get 69. But why was six mad at nine? Because Nine eight six two.
Sy'kyira (😌): I can't wait for the therapist to come.
Daina (😊): Same, 30 minutes have passed ... I also wonder what that loud sound is.
Sy'kyira (😅): SAME !!!! What does it sound like a woman suffering ???
Daina (😌): I know, right?
How do you keep a moron in suspense?......
Ill tell you tomorrow!
Levon Aronian's wife died in a car crash. That's wheelie unfortunate.
I got a new Lego airplane set from my friend... oddly there was also two towers included in the box as well..
grandfathers last words :Stop shaking the ladder you cunt Grandmother last words : you know how to use that hammer Dads last words : Always aim before you shoot that gun Moms last words :Turn of the stove when you're done My last thought : am I a murder
Asian pregnancy test: Stick a Rubix cube into pussy. Wait 30 seconds, if it's solved then there's a little Asian in there.
When I die I what to have a piece of paper near me giving a clue on how I died, like, "I want everyone to miss me except for this bullet," or," You didn't hang with me but guess what did?"
A young boy is in a tepee with his father, just after his sister's naming ceremony. Curious to how it works, he asks his dad, "Father, why is my sister's name Tulip?" His father responds, "That is her name because a tulip was the first thing she saw when she first opened her eyes." The boy was still puzzled. "What about big brother Sparrow?" "His name is Sparrow because a sparrow landed on him when he first began walking." The boy finally asked how he was named. "Well, we decided to name you the same way as your sister." The boy nods with understanding, "Thank you, father." "No problem, Two-Dogs-Fucking."
I always sucked at mazes. I found myself lost over and over again but if life is a labyrinth, I'd always find the escape. The final dead end, my personal favourite...
Your mum is so smart but she still can’t figure why she had you
*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....
What came first? The chicken or the egg?
Which came first? The colour orange or the fruit?
Who taught the first ever teacher?
If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?
If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?
In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?
Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'seperate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?
How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?
The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?
Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, its a cop"?
Is it possible to cry underwater?
If two left handers have an argument, who is right?
I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O
Only a genius can say this
EYE YAM STEW PEED
Want to hear a maze joke? Nevermind, too corny.
how did 10 die? because it was in between 9 and 11
I'm playing a game of HANGMAN.. Is there an 'S' or a 'C' ?
MIKE PEN__E ??
I have a thousand-piece puzzle of the Japanese map, it took me ages to finish it. But after the earthquake, I just threw all the pieces on the ground and it's done.
Jesus tried solving the rubik cube but died on the cross
