Puzzle

Puzzle jokes

Grandfather

    • Grandfather's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"

    Grandmother's last words: "You know how to use that hammer."

    Dad's last words: "Always aim before you shoot that gun."

    Mom's last words: "Turn off the stove when you're done."

    My last thought: Am I a murderer?

  • 1

    • Miracle

    • Father O'Reilly ran into a young woman whose mother attended his church at the market. "Ah, Mary Agnes, congratulations!"

    She gave him a puzzled look. "On what?"

    "Your mother tells me you've been praying to St. Gerard and finally got pregnant, it's a miracle."

    Mary Agnes sighed. "My mother needs to get hearing aids if she's going to eavesdrop on my phone calls to friends. I said it'll be a miracle if I get pregnant since the only thing I'm fucking is a St. Bernard."

  • 0

    • Stork

    • Little Johnny asks, "Mommy, where do babies come from?"

    His mother replies, "The stork brings them."

    Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, "Then who fucks the stork?"

  • 1
    • Puzzle memes

    Name

    • A young boy is in a tepee with his father, just after his sister's naming ceremony. Curious to how it works, he asks his dad, "Father, why is my sister's name Tulip?"

    His father responds, "That is her name because a tulip was the first thing she saw when she first opened her eyes."

    The boy was still puzzled. "What about big brother Sparrow?"

    "His name is Sparrow because a sparrow landed on him when he first began walking."

    The boy finally asked how he was named. "Well, we decided to name you the same way as your sister."

    The boy nods with understanding, "Thank you, father."

    "No problem, Two-Dogs-Fucking."

  • 0

    • Dick

    • What do a Rubik's cube and a dick have in common? The more you play with them, the harder they get.

  • 0

    • Skele Ton

    • You heard a conversation between Sans and Papyrus:

    Sans: "Sub bro."

    Papyrus: "DON'T 'SUB' ME BROTHER! YOU STILL DIDN'T REDINTEGRATE YOUR PUZZLES!"

    Sans: "Easy bro, I have done a ton of work today."

    Sans: "A skele-ton."

    (Drum effect)

    Papyrus: "OH MY GOD SANS!"

  • 0

    • Man

    • A man walked into the kitchen and asked his blonde wife what she was doing. She said, "I'm trying to do this jigsaw puzzle. It's supposed to be a tiger, but all of the pieces are brown." Her husband then said, "Honey, those are frosted flakes."

  • 0

    • Alphabet

    • Dang... if I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put D IN U ;)

    I only know there are 25 letters in the alphabet, I don't know Y.

    (Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?) -- (Friend: 11- T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T)

    (Me: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?) -- (Crush: No, there is actually 26.) -- (Me: oooOoh, I forgot u r a qt! So its acdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz?) -- (Crush: You forgot the D) -- (Me: That's not needed yet ;])

    What letter is really hot? T

    C = cOCK O = CoCK C = COcK K = COCk COCK = cock cock = COCK

    ME SExUAL SRrY LoL

  • 5