Put jokes

Q. What do you get if you put hot water down a rabbit hole?

A. Hot cross bunnies!

Neona (😟): I bet you I'm not going to get that job at all!

Gwen (😌): Yeah well, I believe in you.

Neona (😔): You got the job, and am I still waiting for them to call me and remind me that I will, but I won't get it. Anyway, I need to prepare for a job that I won't get.

Gwen (😠): Neona, you just don't got enough confidence. You got to have confidence in life. I know you will get the job. I do now. Just believe instead of giving up!

Neona (😞): UGH fine!!!

Gwen (😉): I'll see you at that job interview!!!! Put a smile on your face, too!

Neona (😊): Okay...Gwen, you're the best!

Teacher: “Alright, we’re going to play Kahoot! Please use your real name.”

That one kid putting Joe: -_-

Teacher: Who’s Joe?

The whole class: JOE MAMA!

Lil Johnny looked in his pants and couldn’t find his fish, so he started to yell out, "Lil fishy, lil fishy, lil fishy!" They called child support and sent the parents to jail for putting a fish up a child’s butt.

What do McDonalds and priests both do?

They both put their meat between 10-year-old buns.

What's the worst thing about eating a shaved pussy?

Putting the diaper back on.

How do you start a rave in Ethiopia?

You put food on the ceiling and they start jumping.

What is a definition of tight?

A. Putting a blind man in a round room and saying, "Your dinner's in the corner."

How do you surprise a 50-year-old man? By putting a 12-inch dick through his ass.

He said, "Best surprise ever!"

What should you do after banging the tightest pussy?..

Just put the diaper on her 😉

If your butt hurts real bad, put some vapor rub and booty cream on it so it can heal back to normal.

I was riding my bike down the road!

When a car started coming, I started running.

It put me in a crash with my elbow through my ass! ;)

All these females swear they loyal... but you can’t put loyalty on a hoe.

Where did the chef put the disease?

In Ebola.

One time a kid came to the hospital and said, "I really need help." The kid said he was really hot, so they put an ice cold towel on him.

Then the doctor asked him if he had any problems, and he said, "Yes, I am really hot." The doctor realized that he looked fine, so he said, "Are you sure? You look amazing." And the kid said that he meant to say, "I look hot!"

A young woman goes for her first gynecological exam, and the nurse has her take off her clothes, put on a gown, and get in the stirrups. She tells her the doctor will be in in a minute.

The doctor comes in and tells the young lady that she has one of the most beautiful vaginas he’s ever seen, and he has seen a lot of them. She thanks him for the compliment. He tells her he is about to start the examination, but he is going to have to numb her first, when she says ok, he goes:

"Num num num num num!"

What's the difference between a mole and a priest?

One will till your 13 to put hairs on your face.

There was a kid in a wheelchair. I put him on fire and called him Hot Wheels.

Why is a ball rolling when you put it on a hill?

Because it is circle.

I once put the Bible in the fiction section.