Jason Kenney has never worried about putting food on the table for his kids.
"Knuckle babies" don't eat.
Put Jokes
Three citizens were going through an exam to become agents of the FBI. Their instructor handed the first guy a gun in a room with his wife and said he had to shoot her. He walked out in shame and said he couldn't do it. The second guy had the same scenario. He put the gun up, but couldn't pull the trigger, so he walked out in shame. The third guy was put in the same scenario. He walked out and told the instructor, "The gun wasn't loaded, I had to strangle the bitch."
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a boogie in it!
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a boogie in it!
Where did Sally go after the gunshot?
6 feet under.
*That is how deep they put the coffin...*
Stop putting up bad jokes, boi!
How can you tell if a Polish woman is on the rag? One of her socks is missing!
What danger does this put them in? Toxic Sock Syndrome!
How do you get 100 dead babies into a tub? Put them in the blender.
How do you get them out of the tub? Give mexicans tortilla chips and tell them theres salsa in the tub.
Chuck Norris once put a plastic bag on his head, and the bag suffocated to death.
What is the similarity between women and freezers?
We like to put our meat in them.
I'll pat-your-breasts, pat-your-breasts, cos I'm a baker's man, and you bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I'll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", and then put you in the oven for the bitch and me!
A man is out west driving and on the edge of town comes across a tourist stand and sitting in front is an Indian chief right out of central casting. Dour look, full headdress, a glass jar and a sign that says "Indian chief know all! $5". So the fellow's curiosity gets the better of him and he goes up to the chief, puts $5 in the jar and asks "What did I have for breakfast on this day 10 years ago?" Chief taps his chin for a moment and says "Hmmm eggs. You had eggs!"
"Eggs?" shouts the guy "Everybody has eggs! I've been had!" throws his hands in the air and leaves in a huff.
Ten years on, as fate would have it the fellow has occasion to be driving through the same town and sure enough he comes across the same stand, Indian chief, sign, and jar. So he stops the car and saunters across the road, goes up to the chief like a smart-ass, holds up his hand and says "How". Chief taps his chin for a moment and says "Poached."
What do you call an iPhone put into a smoothie maker?--An Apple smoothie.
How do you drown a Blonde? You put a scratch and sniff sticker in a pool.
Did you know that lots of graves are put in churchyards?
Yeah, they're pretty holey.
Did you know that a lot of graves are put in churchyards?
Yeah, they're pretty holey.
People often ask me what I would do for a Klondike bar. Well, I'd straight up put 5 hijackers on Flight 175 before it departed from Logan Airport at 8:14 a.m. on September 11, 2001.
How many dead babies does it take to put in a new light bulb? Not thirteen, cuz my basement is still dark. Let's try fourteen.
Person 1: Why did you put the baby feet first into the blender?
Person 2: To see his facial expression. Why else?
I have been reading this book about zero gravity. I can’t seem to put it down.
