Whatdid the pelican say when he finished shopping?
Put it in my bill.
so an orphan goes to the store and gets a bunch of cartons of milk the cashier goes ''woah why so much'' the orphan goes ''my dad never came back with the milk so well here we are ''
an indian kid walked into the shop and had a curry down becuase they had no nann bread in stock
Why did the lady go to the dealership... because she was going to get hereford.
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store.
I said to him: "I don't think they have what you're looking for, sir."
I was going to buy a watch today but I didn't have time
Setting: Funeral Home
Customer: Yes I was considering what would be the best option for cheap cremation but I feel that's silly to ask.
Funeral Director: Oh! We do have these nice urns over hear at a discounted 75 percent off. Customer: Okay? What's the catch. That's almost 300 dollars off?
Funeral Director: I assure you these are top of the line urns and will keep your loved ones remains secure and dry. Customer: Okay?
Funeral Director: Yep these have only been used once so it's is absolutely worth the purchase.
By: MiniMemorials.com
Should I buy COVID-19 or wait until COVID-20 comes out?
I made a AR that shoots boo boo bullets. It does poison time 10x damage. You have a very go chance of getting STD. Very good AR. Going for 100,000. Email: EatandDrinkbouls@gmail.com
I liked my life when I first got it.....later they said no because I didn’t have the receipt.
aunt: on internet buying weight loss pills for 15 dollars neice: i found that show on Netflix that you wanted to watch its 3 dollars to watch aunt: im not paying for that shit neice: yet u sit there and buy weight loss pills
One day, an orphan bought a boomerang. He threw it, and it didn’t come back.
You know why I don't buy Velcro items anymore?
They are a total rip off.
I bought a wooden whistle. But it wooden whistle. So I bought a steel whistle. But it steel wooden whistle. So I bought a lead whistle. But it steel wooden lead me whistle. So I bought an iron whistle. But ironically it steel wooden lead me whistle.
What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate.
I bought a gun from Walmart today. I guess they knew what I was going to do with it, because when I pulled the gun on the cashier, I realized the firing mechanism was in reverse.
What type of flour do you buy an orphan? Self-raising.
A preacher was selling a horse. A cowboy decided to buy the horse. The preacher told the cowboy to make the horse go, to say "Thank God" and to stop the horse, to say "Hallelujah". The cowboy then rode off into the sunset until he came upon a cliff, searching his memory he yelled "Hallelujah" and the horse stopped just before going off the cliff. Then the cowboy said "Thank God".
The average human male walks for five miles, but the gas station is ten miles away. So why does it take fifteen years for my dad to buy cigarettes?
You'd think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no... oh no he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl.
