Purchase jokes
When me and my friend went to the market, my friend tried to scan my arm, and I asked her what she was doing. She answered, "Oh, I had to buy you so I don't steal you."
Abortion is becoming more and more expensive these days. So visit Ammu-nation and pick up an Armsan RS-X1 tactical shotgun. It comes with a free box of ammo and a three year warranty. Buy now, pay later.
My friend bought a Tom Holland blanket and I said, "Well, now you're sleeping with him."
You're adopted, that's why your mom or dad never came back with the milk!
You never think of how people will react to an event. My friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.
Q: Why can't the orphan buy Robux?
A: He could not use his mother's credit card.
*Breaking News!* - Apparently the first person in Melbourne has died because of the Coronavirus. In his house they found 1000 cans of food, 50 kilos of pasta, 80 kilos of rice, 300 toilet rolls and 50L of hand sanitiser which he had panic purchased from the supermarket and stockpiled "just in case".
The whole lot collapsed and buried him.
Why couldn't the orphan buy chips?
They were all family sized.
Why buy a pregnant slave over a normal slave? Buy 1 get 1 free. 😂😂😂😂
I got my blind friend a TV... He never uses it.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day.
It was a complete waste of money.
He just stands there applauding and saying, "Ooh, I love how smooth it is."
What was the worse purchase America ever made?
Spending billions on two rice cookers in 1945.
Q: Why did the orphan buy an iPhone X?
A: Because it has no home button.
Where do you buy a dishwasher?
Hot singles in your area.
I bought drugs today.
Little Johnny and his dad were going to buy a horse.
Dad: Rubbing on the horse’s chest and butt.
Little Johnny: What are you doing?
Dad: Checking to see if the horse is healthy so I can buy it.
Little Johnny: Oh well, I think the mall man wants to buy mom.
What did the pelican say when he finished shopping?
"Put it in my bill."
Why did the baker give the shopper a butt? Because she asked for a butt!
Yo mama is so stupid, because when she gave birth to you, she asked for a receipt!
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