Purchase jokes

A man went to a Ford dealership hoping to find a car, but he said they weren't affordable.

Where do leg amputees go to buy a car?

IHOP

How did you get that? Used your life savings?

I bought shoes from a drug dealer yesterday. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.

Where did the cat go when it lost its tail? -- To the retail store!

When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? -- When there's a sail on it.

I was very lonely so I bought some shares. -- It's nice to have a bit of company.

A programmer and his wife.

She says, "We're out of bread. Please go to the grocery store and buy one. And if they've got eggs, get six."

After a while, he's back with six loaves of bread.

The wife asks, "Why did you buy 6 loaves of bread?"

He replies, "They had eggs."

Why doesn't Jesus buy beer?

Hebrews.

What's the cheapest kind of meat you can buy?

Deer balls. They're under a buck.