Purchase jokes
Cashier: "Will you want the milk in a bag today, sir?"
Customer: "I’ll just keep it in the carton if you don’t mind."
A man went to a Ford dealership hoping to find a car, but he said they weren't affordable.
Where do leg amputees go to buy a car?
IHOP
How did you get that? Used your life savings?
I bought shoes from a drug dealer yesterday. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.
Where did the cat go when it lost its tail? -- To the retail store!
When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? -- When there's a sail on it.
I was very lonely so I bought some shares. -- It's nice to have a bit of company.
A programmer and his wife.
She says, "We're out of bread. Please go to the grocery store and buy one. And if they've got eggs, get six."
After a while, he's back with six loaves of bread.
The wife asks, "Why did you buy 6 loaves of bread?"
He replies, "They had eggs."
Why doesn't Jesus buy beer?
Hebrews.
What's the cheapest kind of meat you can buy?
Deer balls. They're under a buck.