Purchase jokes

So an orphan goes to the store and gets a bunch of cartons of milk.

The cashier goes, "Woah, why so much?"

The orphan goes, "My dad never came back with the milk, so, well, here we are!"

What’s the difference between a barcode and Rachel Sutherland’s wrist?

Nothing, they both get scanned for a fresh new pack of razor blades.

An Indian kid walked into the shop and had a curry down because they had no naan bread in stock.

Why did the lady go to the dealership? Because she was going to get Hereford.

Two businessmen bought the Milwaukee Bucks for $500 million. They are very excited about their transaction, for this is the only legal way to own black people.

I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store.

I said to him: "I don't think they have what you're looking for, sir."

I was going to buy a watch today, but I didn't have time.

Setting: Funeral Home

Customer: Yes, I was considering what would be the best option for cheap cremation, but I feel that's silly to ask.

Funeral Director: Oh! We do have these nice urns over here at a discounted 75 percent off.

Customer: Okay? What's the catch? That's almost 300 dollars off?

Funeral Director: I assure you these are top-of-the-line urns and will keep your loved ones' remains secure and dry.

Customer: Okay?

Funeral Director: Yep, these have only been used once, so it is absolutely worth the purchase.

By: MiniMemorials.com

Should I buy COVID-19 or wait until COVID-20 comes out?

Why can an orphan go to a store to buy something and what can come back home?

Because they don't have a home.

When do you go to the store?

UVUALA!!!!!

I made an AR that shoots boo boo bullets. It does poison time 10x damage. You have a very good chance of getting STD. Very good AR. Going for 100,000. Email: EatandDrinkbouls@gmail.com

I liked my life when I first got it... Later they said no because I didn’t have the receipt.

My daughter came home from school later than usual. I was panicking, then at 5:30 p.m. she arrived, not walking but in a bus 🚌. I asked, "Where the hell did this bus come from?" She said, "The garage in the alleyway, Mama. I bought it for five gummies and eight buttons. You like her? She is called Belle Bus." My face was just: 😑 How did you get the bus here? She replies with a whisper, "I drove her through five gardens, a house, and two police cars!" 🙃 So that explains why you have handcuffs on. "Yeah!"

Aunt: On the internet, buying weight loss pills for 15 dollars.

Niece: I found that show on Netflix that you wanted to watch. It's 3 dollars to watch.

Aunt: I'm not paying for that shit.

Niece: Yet you sit there and buy weight loss pills.

One day, an orphan bought a boomerang. He threw it, and it didn’t come back.

You know why I don't buy Velcro items anymore? They are a total rip off.

I bought a wooden whistle. But it wooden whistle. So I bought a steel whistle. But it steel wooden whistle. So I bought a lead whistle. But it steel wooden lead me whistle. So I bought an iron whistle. But ironically it steel wooden lead me whistle.

What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate.

I bought a gun from Walmart today. I guess they knew what I was going to do with it, because when I pulled the gun on the cashier, I realized the firing mechanism was in reverse.