I went to the shops yesterday, I bought roast chicken, eggs and duck. The cashier read $45.99 it was an eggcelent price.
My wife told me "don't buy 1 gun while on your trip" so I decided to buy 2 guns instead
I bought a wooden whistle. But it wouldn't whistle, so I bought a steel whistle. But it still wouldn't whistle. So I bought a lead whistle, but it still wouldn't lead me to whistle.
i go to the shop and buy 2 pints of kimo
Cashier: Will you want the milk in a bag today sir?
Customer: I’ll just keep it in the carton if you don’t mind.
A man went to Ford dealership hoping to find a car but he said the weren't aFORDable
Where do leg amputees go to buy a car?
IHOP
i bought shoes from a drug dealer yesterday- i dont know what he laced them with but i was trippen all day
Where did the cat go when it lost it's tail? -- To the retail store!
When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? -- When there's a sail on it.
I was very lonely so I bought some shares. -- It's nice to have a bit of company.
A programmer and his wife.
She says, "We're out of bread. Please go the grocery store and buy one. And if they've got eggs, get six."
After a while, he's back with six loaves of bread.
The wife asks, "Why did you buy 6 loaves of bread?"
He replies, "They had eggs."
Why doesn't Jesus buy beer?
Hebrews.
What's the cheapest kind of meat you can buy?
Deer balls. They're under a buck.
