I punched my mom for no freaking reason.
Two people stood in one room. The first guy stared at the second.
First guy: “Sorry I had to punch you. It was a game, bro.”
Second guy: “Between me and you talking, there’s almost no PUNCH line. Hah!”
Today there was a line to punch me.
Yeah, that was the punch line.
So who did it? the I.S.S. teacher said.
1 hour before:
So let me get...
Random person: Wait, what? You BROKE UP WITH HER!
Me: I SWEAR, JHONNY, THIS IS THE 3RD TIME YOU BUTT INTO MY CONVERSATION! SO... HERE... YOU... GO! *punches*
I went up to the blind kid and punched him and said bet you didn't see that coming
I decided today that I was going to do something with my life, something amazing, and I decided to punch a homeless man.
This pun is so bad you're gonna punch me.
Fruit punch sounds like the name of a gay boxer.
How I Punch my Brother: Wooden Sword.
How he is telling Dad: Diamond Sword.
How hard my Dad is gonna punch me: Warden Punch.
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
So I told an orphan to slap themselves until they are wanted. I came back the next day to see them slapping themselves. Then I stopped them and told them to punch themselves.
The next day I saw a dead orphan.
Why did the orphan get sent to the principal's office?
Because he punched dumbos like you people!
When is the best time to punch a midget in the face?
When he’s standing next to your girlfriend and says your hair smells nice.
What do you call getting assaulted by a gay man? Fruit punch.
Why did the fruit punch say "What's sup?"
He was so naughty!
You can slap, punch, knock out an orphan, what will they do? They don't have parents!
What did the orphan do when he got punched? nothing cause his parents werent there! :)
My gf told me she was pregnant. So I punched her in the stomach.
She asked me "Why the hell did you do that?!?!?" "I wanted to let you know I'm pro abortion."
If Stephen Hawking was a boxer, he would roll with the punches.
Me at the Oscars when I see Jada Pinkett Smith, I said: "G.I. Jane 2, more like G.I. Jada 2, can't wait to see it."
So Will Smith is laughing and then suddenly, Will Smith walks up to me and punches me in the face.
Me: "Ow, oh, wow. Will Smith just smacked the shit out of me.” My nigga Smith goes: "KEEP MY WIFE'S NAME OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!" Me: "Maybe you should focus on keeping her friends out of hers."
