My therapist said to try having a different outlook on life.
I agree. I should have a different outlook on life. Preferably from underground.
Suicide: Turning one's biology into complex organic chemistry.
If someone calls you dirty minded just say:
"You are dirty minded as well if you understand what I'm saying."
I tend to think my ‘depression’ is for attention. I guess I have depressed depression.
A man books a session to see a therapist, as he claims he has a strong fear of the 15th, 9th and 3rd letters of the alphabet. So once the therapist, let's call him Frank, has jotted that down on his notebook, he says, "Oh, I see."
Depression is like therapy; the more you see it, the more you get used to it.
Looks like depression got the best of me! Don’t worry, I’m already going under.
Don’t you hate it when your teacher(s) say, “just focus, it’s that easy?”
And then you die inside.
Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?
Me: Seeing others happy.
Doctor: Ok, so what makes you happy?
Me: Seeing stupid people in misery or agony.
Doctor: Well, that's rather sadistic.
Me: Well, statistically one in two doctors have fingered a child...
Doctor: Do you want your prescription or shall I book you an endoscopy?
Me: There's nothing hidden inside me, I'm empty "smug face".
We are anonymous because none of us are as cruel as all of us.
I have OCD and ADD, so everything has to be perfect... but not for very long.
My grief counselor died just the other day.
He was so good though, I didn't care.
How do you help a constipated person?
You scare the shit out of them!
Is depression an emotion or a state of mind? I call it a lifestyle.
What did the emo say before he crossed the road?
"Fuck my life."
Depression is like having anxiety, but with more voices.
Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.
Why do I only date orphans?
Because they never have daddy issues.
Why did the man become stupid?
Cause he was suicidal, herbivorous. Ja...
What do you call a stalker stalking himself? A narcissist.
