Psychology jokes

What do you call a depressed person's life?

At this point, nonexistent.

Orphans don't like family sized chips, I wonder why.

I was walking till I saw a kid sitting on the street. I walked over there and said, "Where are your parents?" He cried even more.

Oh, I just love talking to orphans.

This is why orphans are dangerous with cardboard. They either start eating it or making it into a house and hallucinating that they have a family.

So I threw out the cardboard and said, "You have to stay in reality. Fantasies aren't real. You can't and will never get a home."

Next day, they make cardboard parents, so I threw that away and said, "Pay attention to reality; you will never get parents."

Next day, they start acting like parents and tell me what to do. Again, I said, "Snap to reality. You will never be a parent!" The orphan responded with, "Oh, really?! How so?" I just simply said, "You don't have a house and parents. You literally like eating cardboard, and then you make parents out of it. You like to eat old people!"

To anyone suffering from low self esteem:

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/UTymDoPOEnY

Guy, it was so weird yesterday. I saw a guy, and he kept repeating the same thing over and over. I hate people with dementia. I told my mom to get a new mirror, but she won’t listen to me. It’s almost like I said it like 20 times every time I say it.

Why did the orphan commit a crime?

Because they wanted to be wanted!

I asked a child where their parents were. They started to cry. I laughed and walked out of an orphanage.

My two moods are “I can’t believe I get to be a person” and “I can’t believe I have to be a person.”

I'm going to start taking confetti with me to therapy so when my therapist asks me, "How are you?" I can say "sad" and toss the confetti everywhere. It'll be like a real-life iMessage!

For me, the best part of depression is remaining charming around strangers but saving the misery for the ones who love you.

I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t feel like screaming.

Why did the hooker fall in love? Stockholm syndrome.

A depressed kid gave me a high five. I left him hanging.

Depressed procrastinators feel like they wanna kill themselves sometime soon.

How do you tell if someone is depressed?

The brains on the wall.

The more suicidal people there are, the less suicidal people there are... Woah!

What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?

What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?

What happened when the emo kid gave the tree a high five? It left him hanging.

Yesterday I wanted to look up the term "procrastination".

I swear, I'll do it tomorrow.