Depressed procrastinators feel like they wanna kill themselves sometime soon.
How do you tell if someone is depressed?
The brains on the wall.
The more suicidal people there are, the less suicidal people there are... Woah!
What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?
What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?
Yesterday I wanted to look up the term "procrastination".
I swear, I'll do it tomorrow.
How does a depressed couple say goodbye on the phone?
"No, you hang yourself first..."
What do you call it when you see nothing but pants? Brief psychotic disorder!
COBRA GRINDSET OF THE DAY: Depression isn't real. You feel sad, you move on.
You will always be depressed if your life is depressing. Change it, bitch!
If an emo kid jumps off a building, who would win?
Society.
Little Johnny said to his mate, "I bet I can make you swear." His mate said, "Good luck." So Johnny told his mate that he slept with his sister. His mate yelled, "I'm gonna fucking kill you!"
What’s the favorite song of someone with an Oedipus Complex?
“My Mommy Comes Back”
When a person yells, just laugh and remember that they can’t hurt what’s already dead.
What do you tell someone who has depression?
Answer: Just hang in there.
"Why can’t you be comfortable with my own body?"
"I think you should ask yourself that."
My dad may be working, but the coping mechanisms sure aren't!
An orphan was shocked, he called the ambulance. If he forgot he's suicidal, he quickly hung up.
A person could build a playground with your mood swings.
Me: I'm afraid of random letters.
Therapist: You are?
Me: [screams]
Therapist: Oh, I see.
Me: [screaming intensifies]
A man walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia.
The librarian whispers, "They're right behind you!"
Person: You're so ugly.
Me: You ugly.
Person: I'm not a mirror.
Me: And I'm not your reflection.
