Procrastination jokes

School Rizz:

You are my exam. I am always thinking about you but never making a move.

I'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.

Lesson in laziness number 136894236842: don't be too lazy to read large numbers.

Don't give up on your dreams...

Keep sleeping.

Are you my homework because I’m supposed to be doing you right now, but I’m not.

Depressed procrastinators feel like they wanna kill themselves sometime soon.

Yesterday I wanted to look up the term "procrastination".

I swear, I'll do it tomorrow.

Me: "Oh man, things are really happening for me! I have so much to do!"

Depression: "Lie in bed."

I decided that I'll end it all, but when I drove off, I remembered I forgot to do the dishes.

How long does it take for a depressed person to change a light bulb?

5 days. & I’m pretty proud of myself.

I hope death is a woman. That way, she'll never come for me.

My teachers told me I'd never amount to much because I procrastinate so much.

I told them, "Just you wait!"

I've got not much of anything to be honest.

Been in special classes in school.

Not liked by people.

Only relationship I've ever had and she cheated on me.

31 years old and never had sex, pathetic.

Not very smart.

Don't look good.

Hate myself more than anything.

Been a failure at everything in life.

Probably be alone forever.

People treat me like crap.

Can't do anything right.

And the list goes on and on.

So the question is why haven't I killed myself yet? The answer is, I forget. I'm a extreme procrastinator, keep just putting it off because I'll probably just fuck it up anyway.

I have a joke about lazy people!

Actually... forget it... it won't work.

POV: 11:07 PM At night, reading these when you notice that, like everyone else, you have no life.

Time for you to stop looking at jokes on worstjokesever.com and go to bed!

I was gonna clean my room

before I got high.

I don't have time to write this joke.