Pregnancy

Pregnancy Jokes

What do teen mothers and their unborn babies have in common?

They're both thinking "Oh my God, my mom's gonna kill me!"

How do you know when a woman is going to have a black baby? When she takes the tampon out, all the cotton is picked.

Nurse: Don't worry i'm great with babies. Parents: You are? Nurse: Yea, i always abort them. Parent:... Parent: Your hired

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My wife cheated on me with my brother She didn't have a sister so I improvised and now all I have to do is wait nine months for one to come

My pregnate wife said we were gonna name the kid digorno. She wouldn't tell me why until she got an abortion and told me its not delivery its digiorno.

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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a coma. After 6 months she woke. She asked the doctor "hows the baby?" "You had twins" the doctor replied. "Your brother named them" the woman said *oh no not my brother what did he call them?" "He called the girl Denise" "what about the boy" the woman asked the doctor said "denephew"

So this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road he starts speeding. Eventually he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, is my wife okay, she was carrying my child. The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes “APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage

A heavily pregnant woman is in an accident and gives birth to twins while comatose. Upon awakening some days later, the doctors tell her that her brother Tom filled out the birth certificates while she was out.

"Oh no, Tom's an idiot, what did he name my daughter?" she asked the nurse.

"Denise."

"That's not a bad name. And what did he name the boy?"

"Tom Junior."