Pregnancy jokes
Father: "I don't trust you. You poured your seed in my daughter's belly."
Son: "But Paah, you can't fire me."
Father: "You're lucky you're my brother too, or I'd kill you."
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and touched Jill's thigh and said, "I know you wanna." Jill said yes, took off her dress, and then they had some fun. But silly Jill forgot her pills, and now they have a son.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some marijuana. Jack got high and slapped her thigh and said "you know you wanna". Jill said yes, pulled down her dress, and then they had some fun. Silly Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
Q: Do you know why people don't like abortion jokes?
A: Because they leave people with a feeling of emptiness inside.
Teenager: "OMG, I’m prego, my mom's gonna kill me."
Baby: "Lmao, same"
What's the best thing about abortion jokes?
They never get old.
What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman? You can unscrew the lightbulb.
Why doesn't Barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box!
My town's population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.
Welcome to the abortion clinic. You make 'em, we scrape 'em. No fetus can beat us.
How do you get a nun pregnant? -- Dress her up as an alter boy.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to celebrate their marriage.
Nine months later, they happily had some use for their baby carriage.
Two years later, they went up again, then their daughter had a brother.
But one little secret that no one knew was that Jack and Jill share a mother.
How can you tell if you have a high sperm count?
When your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.
Abortion, it really brings out the kid in you.
Bully: "Shut up and give me your money, otherwise I will tell everyone that you are still a virgin."
Boy: "Haha, I am not a virgin anymore."
Bully: "Haha, nice joke."
Boy: "If you don't believe then ask your sister or brother."
Bully: "Hah, I don't have any sibling."
Boy: "Will just wait for 9 months then u will know."
Your mom is a slow comedian. It took her 9 months to make a good joke.
What do cannibals call pregnant women? A kinder surprise.
You can laugh at how men are stupid. But remember their favorite thing.
It starts with "M" and ends with "arriage".
If you guessed "Marriage" you're stupid. It's miscarriage and don't forget it. The joke never gets old to him. Just like the baby.
What does a pregnant teen and an aborted child have in common?
They both say, “My mom's gonna kill me!”