Pregnancy jokes
Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some marijuana. Jack got high and slapped her thigh and said "you know you wanna". Jill said yes, pulled down her dress, and then they had some fun. Silly Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
Q: Do you know why people don't like abortion jokes?
A: Because they leave people with a feeling of emptiness inside.
Why doesn't Barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box!
What's the best thing about abortion jokes?
They never get old.
What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman? You can unscrew the lightbulb.
My town's population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.
How do you know when a woman is going to have a black baby?
When she takes the tampon out, all the cotton is picked.
A lot of things have changed since I got my girlfriend pregnant.
My name, my address, and my phone number.
Welcome to the abortion clinic. You make 'em, we scrape 'em. No fetus can beat us.
How do you get a nun pregnant? -- Dress her up as an alter boy.
Bully: "Shut up and give me your money, otherwise I will tell everyone that you are still a virgin."
Boy: "Haha, I am not a virgin anymore."
Bully: "Haha, nice joke."
Boy: "If you don't believe then ask your sister or brother."
Bully: "Hah, I don't have any sibling."
Boy: "Will just wait for 9 months then u will know."
Teenager: "OMG, I’m prego, my mom's gonna kill me."
Baby: "Lmao, same"
Abortion, it really brings out the kid in you.
What do cannibals call pregnant women? A kinder surprise.
How can you tell if you have a high sperm count?
When your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.
Your mom is a slow comedian. It took her 9 months to make a good joke.
You can laugh at how men are stupid. But remember their favorite thing.
It starts with "M" and ends with "arriage".
If you guessed "Marriage" you're stupid. It's miscarriage and don't forget it. The joke never gets old to him. Just like the baby.
What does a pregnant teen and an aborted child have in common?
They both say, “My mom's gonna kill me!”
Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.