Pregnancy jokes
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed Jill's thigh and said, "You know you wanna." Jill said, "Yes," and lifted up her dress. Then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water. Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
Please like this. I bet my friend 20 bucks that I would get to 15 likes before him.
Why did the goat have an abortion?
Because she already had too many kids!
I got in big trouble the other day, though it was pretty unfair. Babies kick pregnant women all the time, and yet I got arrested anyways.
All jokes are funny with the correct delivery. Except for abortion jokes, there is no delivery.
What do you call a three-humped camel?
Pregnant.
When your girlfriend has an abortion, it's kinda like dodging your own bullets.
Hondo's dad and mum went up the hill to do it in the water.
Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a Hondo.
The popular girl told me, "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!"
Two weeks later, she shows up pregnant.
...
I guess her rubber broke too.
What do a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her have in common?
They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"
What do you call a parent that is pregnant?
Buy one, get one free.
I needed a test on if I'm pregnant. Then the doc said, "Take your pants down." Then he put his penis in my vagina and said, "Now you are pregnant."
What’s 9 inches long and makes my girlfriend scream?
One inch and put it in her. Her miscarriage.
What's better than having unprotected sex? Getting an abortion.
What's the best part of not wearing a condom when I'm with my girlfriend? My mom went through menopause.
What's the best thing about abortion jokes? They never get old.
What do cannibals call pregnant women? A kinder surprise.
What's red, white, and blue and crawls up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marrahwanah.
Jack got high, slapped her thigh, and then they had some fun.
Jill forgot to take her pills, and now they have a son.
I regret my abortion.
I didn’t know child labor was an option.