Pregnancy jokes
If a pregnant emo kills herself, is that murder-suicide or just abortion?
I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.
A husband came back from a business trip and found out that his wife was pregnant. At first, he got a bit suspicious, but then he just ignored it and hugged his wife with happiness. The second when he met his friend and told him the news, the friend just said, "Wait, what? I thought she was on pills!"
How did the Mexican girl get pregnant? Her teacher told her to do his essay.
Jokers are all about the delivery.
Except abortion jokes...
I told a joke about miscarriage to a group of women, but none of them laughed.
I guess it was a bad delivery.
l li
ll l_
Did you know about 9 months after a power outage 50% more babies are born because it is dark?
What is the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.
What do an abortion and a baby have in common?
The mom doesn't want either of them.
What word starts with M and ends in RAGE? Miscarriage.
That joke never gets old... but neither does the baby...;)
My gf told me she was pregnant, so I punched her in the stomach.
She asked me why the hell I did that. I told her I wanted to let her know I’m pro abortion.
The mirror says: "If you break me, you will have 3 years of bad luck."
The Magic Jewel says: "If you break me, you will have 10 years of bad luck."
The condom just sitting there laughing.
What's similar between a pregnant 14 y/o girl and the foetus inside of her?
They both are thinking "My mom's gonna kill me!"
Jack and Jill went up the hill so they could fuck in the water. But Jack forgot to use protection and now they have a daughter.
Abortion is wrong because God wanted the baby to be alive.
Miscarriages are okay because God did not want the baby to be alive.
What does a burnt pizza, cold beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?
Someone didn’t pull it out in time.
A woman having labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
“Don’t worry,” said Doc to the worried husband.
“Those are just contractions.”
If a pregnant emo kills herself, is it murder-suicide?
A guy and his girl just finished making love.
Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"
The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"