What word starts with M and ends in RAGE? MiscaRAGE. That joke never gets old....but neither does the baby...;)
My gf told me she was pregnant. So I punched her in the stomach. She asked me why the hell did I did that. I told her I wanted to let her know I’m pro abortion.
What's similar b/w a pregnant 14 y/o girl and the foetus inside of her?
They both are thinking "My mom's gonna kill me"
My wife is pregnant, but when we get to the doctors, something happened...
What happened?
Answer: The husband is pregnant too, with someone else’s baby, not the wife’s baby, but the wife is pregnant with his baby.
A guy and his girl just finished making love.
Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"
The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"
What's more useless than a broken condom? A fetus resulting from a broken condom.
"Abortion: Another word for dying at spawn."
I congratulated my friend on losing all that baby weight. She started crying and told me I should make them for miscarriage like that......
The popular girl told me, "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!"
Two weeks later, she shows up pregnant.
...
I guess her rubber broke too.
If a baby dies in the womb, is it considered suicide?
So, one day I was walking home from school with my best friend, Sally. She was worried to get home because she was going to tell her mom that Bob, the class rep, got her pregnant eight months ago, and now it was obvious she was pregnant. So I said, “Sally, it’ll be okay, I’m sure she’ll be happy to get a grandson.” “Yeah, thanks, Suzy,” she said to me, then went into her house.
The next few weeks she didn’t show up to school, so I was like, oh, she must be in trouble with her mom. I’ll go check on her.
So I walk up to her house and her mom answers with a baby boy in her hands. “Oh, hello. Is that Sally’s son?!! Can I see Sally?” Her mom says sure, and I go inside, but she leads me to the backyard and I see a tombstone. “Here lies Sally 2004-2020.” So I ask her mom in tears, “Oh, did she not make it through the birth?” And her mom replied, “You could say that...”
Abortion is wrong because God wanted the baby to be alive.
Miscarriages are okay because God did not want the baby to be alive.
A guy and a woman are walking into a forest. The woman says she is lonely. The guy then says, "Don't worry, there will be a third person in a little while."
What looks like peanut butter and jelly, and makes a woman scream?
Afterbirth.
What's similar between a fetus and a failed mission?
You abort it.
What happens when an angel and nun "have some fun and forget pills"?
The nun gets pregNUNt.
Men play video games to let their inner child out, while women do abortions.
What [is] another name for an abortion?
Canceling your delivery.
I don't get why it is called abortion instead of murder.
Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll? Ken came in another box.
