Roses are red, I like girls from the South, a 425-pound teacher gets suspended after sitting on a kid's head and farting in his mouth.
When your mum sold you on eBay for £2 pound for girls stripper.
Yo mama so hairy that she got a haircut and lost 47 pounds.
I just reached 10 million pounds in Euro Truck Simulator, but it's not even close to what Rakhmat Akilov achieved.
Yo mama is so ugly, if she got a pound for every boy that found her unattractive, boys would find her attractive.
Yo mama is so fat that she got on the scale, and it says, "Lose some pounds before you get on the scale, or it will break!"
Yo mama is so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.
Superman and Flash were in the living room pounding back a few beers. Flash says to Superman, "I bet you can fly into Wonder Woman's bedroom and get the best pussy of your life." So he does it. When he goes back to Flash, Superman says, "Man, that was great, but my ass kinda burns."
"I can lose 10 ugly pounds anytime I want -- I'll just cut off my head!"
Do you use humor to make light of your emotional eating and your weight? Make jokes about overeating and being fat as a way of getting along with other people? I was a Grand Champion at it.
Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.
Sally had 9 pounds of boobs (9), which was 2 2 many (922), so on the 9th of the month (9229) at 6pm (92296) on 68 street (922968), she went to doctor x to get 6 operations (922968x6) and left her (flip your calculator) boobless.
Bro, if I die, I want to die blown up by 34 pounds of C4 at a furry convention.
Kaleb: Addison, are you okay???
Addison: Not at all. People think I'm annoying and stupid! Do you?
Kaleb: Yes, once I pound you in the ass.
Because all I do is pound it, man, I would put you on my 600 lb life if you didn't weigh a thousand.
I have 2000 pounds of one-ton soup.
A girl did squats everyday with a 20 pound weight in her hand to finally text her boyfriend, "Show me your dick now!"
Tonight, I picked up an anorexic prostitute.
It was really easy because she was only about 90 pounds.
A drunk guy is showing friends his new apartment.
The last stop is the bedroom, where a big brass gong sits next to the bed.
"What's that gong for?" the friend asks him.
"It's not a gong," the drunk replies. "It's a talking clock."
"How does it work?"
The guy picks up a hammer, gives the gong an ear-shattering pound, and steps back.
Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screams, "For God's sake, you asshole, it's 3:30 in the god damn morning!"
What weighs 70 pounds and doesn't like sex?
The 6-year-old in the trunk of my car.
My girlfriend is so fat that when she runs or walks, she falls, so I am breaking up with you.
🙍🏼♀️Fat girlfriend: Nooo, don’t leave me, catch me, ahhh!
🙇🏼♀️Fat girlfriend falls on boyfriend: Ahhhhhh *dump*
🙇🏼♀️🙇🏼Fat girlfriend and boyfriend: Fat girlfriend: U didn’t catch me wawawawa. Boyfriend: Get off me, 900 pounds, ugh, I hate u!
Story done. Please like.
