Potato

Potato Jokes

Difference

What's the difference between a Russian potato and a U.S. potato?

The U.S. potato can still compete in the Special Olympics.

Human

What's the difference between a human and a potato? There is none, you can eat both.

Cannibal

Jeffrey Dahmer and his mother are having dinner.

His mother says, “I don’t like your friends.”

Then Jeff says, “You can eat the potatoes.”

Orphan

Why can't an orphan get a tattoo at a young age?

They don't have parent permission.

Life

If you think your life is bad, then people are discussing the gender of Mr. Potato Head.

Cream pie

When you cream pie a tardy hottie, it’s called a loaded potato. 🥴🦴💨🥔

Pringles

Fun fact: Pringles are named Pringles because somebody decided to name them Pringles.

Chip

Did you know that chips taste like the baked potato in things called bags of chips?

Eye

What has eyes but can't see?

Potatoes, storms, and needles.

School shooting

What's the difference between a school shooting pistol and a baked potato? The physical composition, of course, but they both pack the same heat.

Dad

Die you potato.

I baked you a pie.

Oh boy, which flavor?

Pie Pie Pie Pie.

Dad, I'm hungry.

Hi hungry, I'm dad.

Why did you name this way?

Why Why Why?

Shot

How do you get 500 drunk TTC people out? "Ah, on fire, a warning shot." "Uhhh sir, it's a M92 mortar." "Ah, just fire the shot!" Please get out before you get triggered from the pool and you have no clothes showing your nono parts. Oh wait, please get out of the pool drunk people. Potato, potatoes, fire ze shot.