Possession jokes

What’s the difference between a pile of corpses and a Mclaren P1?

I don’t have a garage.

My brother and I were roughhousing and accidentally knocked over our bookshelf. My mom came in and started asking who knocked it over, to which I replied that I only had my shelf to blame.

Hey, can I axe you a question?

My brother likes to build "traps" to capture our cat so he can pet it. I said it wasn't gonna catch anyone, he replied with "not going to stop who?" I told him not to worry that it could capture any two.

You're so poor, people break into your house and leave things.

If you have 20 apples and you ate 2, how many do you have left?

0 because you have 20 and take away 2, you have 0 left.

My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. He said, "Get your paws off my toy!"

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead bodies?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Both man and woman have balls, but they like to play with the ball of each other because a person always loves what they don't have. 😁

What's the difference between a pile of babies and a Porsche?

I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

What's the difference between dead babies and a Ferrari?

I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

So my brother said we should start a band, and I said I already had a band. So I gave him my band and he said he was talking about music, and I said, "Well, I do have a trum-bone ;)"

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a sack of dead babies?

I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

My gun is like my house, used to be full, now it's empty.

Did you hear about the new Exorcist movie? The Devil came to get the Priest out of the child.

What’s the difference between 80 dead babies and a Lambo? I don’t have a Lambo in my garage.

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a hostage?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Mustang Challenger?

I don't have a Mustang Challenger in my garage.

What is the difference between a bag of dead babies and a Lamborghini?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage. :)

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Porsche?

I don't have a Porsche in the garage.

I shit on your furniture.

What do fat demons hate? Exorcise.