He he, that's MJ's pronouns.
23 is Michael Jordan's.
Fake news is Trump's.
There once was a boy named Sammy who loved this girl beyond belief. Her name was Rayne, but she didn’t notice him and or talk to him, but one day she did and they ended up liking each other and getting married and living happily... wait, no, that’s not right.
Sammy actually snuck into Rayne’s house one day and kidnapped her and locked her in his basement and made her into a puppet so he could keep her forever and ever. The End.
What's big and round?
Mine and not yours.
What’s the opposite of an exorcism?
It’s when Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child.
Do you know what a reverse exorcism is?
It's when the demon tells the priest to exit the child's body.
I got one of those.
While I was out shopping, I tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me. For fun, I said, "Sorry! It's been a while since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.
Dads are like boomerangs... I hope!
Son: Dad, why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.
You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.
Yo, back off from my homey Freshfry; he's mine!
What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mercedes?
I don’t have a Mercedes.
What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
Why can’t orphans win trophies?
Because they can’t take them home.
What’s the difference between a hundred decapitated babies and a Ferrari? I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
What do gum and guns have in common?
When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend all of a sudden.
What is a reverse exorcism? It is when the Devil tries to pull a priest out of a child.
To whoever has my voodoo doll, please hold its hand.
What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead kids?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
Ya, I have a Hydro Flask.
H: My Y: Grandpa D: Sticks R: His O: Cock F: Up L: My A: Ass S: K:
If Carlos and Jose took a brownie from me and I had 10 to start, what do I have?
Answer: A math problem.
What’s the difference between a pile of corpses and a Mclaren P1?
I don’t have a garage.
My brother and I were roughhousing and accidentally knocked over our bookshelf. My mom came in and started asking who knocked it over, to which I replied that I only had my shelf to blame.
Hey, can I axe you a question?
My brother likes to build "traps" to capture our cat so he can pet it. I said it wasn't gonna catch anyone, he replied with "not going to stop who?" I told him not to worry that it could capture any two.
