Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.
What did Darth Trump Vader say to evil emperor Putin?
"Yesssss Massager!"
What games do monks play a lot?
Among Us.
Chuck Norris is so immortal, even he killed Death.
Why did an orphan kill ET?
To phone home.
Teacher: Go through the ABCs in pre-school.
Me: Hey, teacher, omae wa mou shindeiru!
Teacher: NANI!?!?
I know why Stephen Hawking loves Transformers so much now.
Autobots, "Roll Out!"
What did Mickey Mouse and Michael Jackson have in common?: (What *didn't* they have in common)
Same red shorts, theme park in their backyard, white glove, soft voices, loved children, they both were black with white faces.
Tomorrow is Christmas, and I'm giving myself a present that I can't wait to open. It's my wrist. (Yes, this was inspired by a Fall Out Boy song.)
A fact! I think I'm officially a poo-buster, as the plunger does look like the weapon in "Ghostbusters"!
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong?
Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson screwed little boys.
Where did Michael Jackson go to college?
Bring 'em young.
Why did you always see Michael Jackson wearing two white gloves?
Because masturbation is against Michael Jackson's religious beliefs.
Mom: You can't die in the living room, David, so you can stop stabbing and shooting yourself.
David: I will surpass Kakarot!
Jordan: *dead on the living room floor*
What's yellow and smells of Marge? Homer Simpson's fingers!
How do you know Thor has your back?
He's an Asgardian (ass guardian).
Mom: I saw John Cena at WWE.
Son: No way, you can’t see him though.
Mom: God!
Son: What?
Mom: You watch too much reality TV (comes to smack butt).
Son: Also because I’m John Cena.
Mom: Where, where’d ya go?
John Cena: Hey, Mom.
Mom: I’m only 31, you’re 42.
Are you a wild girl, cause I want to catch you with my pokeballs?
What is a superhero’s 🦸♀️ favorite drink?
Fruit punch!
Who is Santa's favorite singer?
Elf-is Presley!
