Pool jokes
Today, a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
What pool never runs dry?
The one on the Titanic.
Yo mama so fat! When she jumps into a pool, NASA found water on Mars!
What’s green and orange and sits at the bottom of the swimming pool?
A baby with burst armbands.
Pool table.
What do you call a terrorist in a kids' swimming pool?
A bath bomb.
In India, whoever lives facing the roadside, this is for them.
Whenever it starts raining heavily, our homes turn into pool-facing homes because the roads disappear.
What do you call someone with an extra chromosome winning in a pool?
Posiedown.
What's big, green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree, it can kill you?
A pool table.
My son asked for a swimming pool so I got him a ant 🐜🐜🐜 pool.
What do you call a pool full of handicapped people?
Vegetable soup.
How to kill a blond: put a scratch & sniff in a pool.
What do you call a pool full of disabled people?
Vegetable soup.
How do you drown a Blonde? You put a scratch and sniff sticker in a pool.
Your mum sunk in the pool because she had a big butt.
Looks like the gene pool in your family is about three inches deep.
A millionaire LOVES alligators and filled his pool full of alligators. One night he has a party and says, "Whoever can swim from one end to the other of the alligator infested pool unharmed will get a prize, my daughter or a million dollars." Some people line up but they are hesitant. One man gets in the water, swims from one end to the other unharmed, and went to the millionaire. The millionaire says, "Wow, I can't believe you did it! So what's your prize?" The guy says, "I don't care about the million dollars or your daughter, I just want to know who the b@$*ard was that pushed me in the pool!"
What do you call a bunch of bald paki in a swimming pool? Coco pops.
I like my women like I like my diving pool:
Deep and wet.
What happens when a guy is in a pool with a deck and no one is around? The guy has to pee, get up on the deck, and stick it between the bars and pee.