Politics jokes
Q: How do you know when someone is an opposition leader to Putin?
A: When they are falling from their balcony.
Q: How do you know when Putin is lying?
A: His lips move.
The sexy towers are just like my sexy toes because when I crashed a plane into the tower, it burned and bled.
What do you say to the USA after 9/11? Checkmate.
Why does America have more guns than people?
What's the only type of abortion Republicans will never try to legislate against?
A school shooting.
What's the only type of abortion Republicans will never do anything to prevent?
A school shooting.
Imagine if Joe Biden was elected for a second term.
He would be the first president to be assassinated by a slick bathtub.
Did you hear Biden went to the ER?
He's having a little trouble with his Putin.
I don’t see what the problem is.
The Supreme Court came up with a solution to the tampon shortage, yet all the liberals are pissed!
Why don't communists like Microsoft? Because it's Minecraft instead of ourcraft.
Why are Americans so bad at chess?
Because they have already lost 2 towers!
The S in America stands for safe.
Who is Osama Bin Laden’s secret cousin? Barack Obama or Barack Osama Bin Laden?
When your gf tells you to treat her like a queen,
and then you remember you’re French.
The new pandemic is feminism and all kinds of democratic thinking. COVID is a joke compared to these nasty ass diseases.
My cousin asked me, "What do you think was going through Hitler's mind right before he died?"
I told him, "Probably a bullet."
I would tell a Biden joke except everyone would not stop falling asleep (including him).
How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But you need 5000 Soviet troops in case he goes on strike!
Why did Hitler go for handicap?
Because they can’t stand up for themselves.