Politics jokes
I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, and they asked if I could pilot a plane.
When you fail art school.
Why did Queen Elizabeth II die? She forgot to heal after all those storms.
How do you keep a Biden supporter in suspense?
...
What's Osama Bin Laden's favorite drink?
A double Manhattan.
Why are Americans so bad at chess?
They already lost two towers.
What do you call the longest reigning monarch?
The queen? No, she dead.
When does a Pentagon have 4 sides? When it's intercepted by a plane.
Knock knock. Who's there? Colin! Colin who? Colonisation!
Just kidding, colonisers don't knock before they come in.
What do you call a blind Nazi?
A Not-See!
What would Hitler be called if he abused women? Hither!
Q: How do you know when someone is an opposition leader to Putin?
A: When they are falling from their balcony.
Q: How do you know when Putin is lying?
A: His lips move.
The sexy towers are just like my sexy toes because when I crashed a plane into the tower, it burned and bled.
What do you say to the USA after 9/11? Checkmate.
Why does America have more guns than people?
What's the only type of abortion Republicans will never try to legislate against?
A school shooting.
What's the only type of abortion Republicans will never do anything to prevent?
A school shooting.
Imagine if Joe Biden was elected for a second term.
He would be the first president to be assassinated by a slick bathtub.
Did you hear Biden went to the ER?
He's having a little trouble with his Putin.