Politics jokes
Biden: See you later, alligator!
Alligator: In a while, pedophile.
Biden: My girlfriend called me a pedophile. I said, "That's a pretty big word for a 9-year-old!"
Joe Biden deez nuts.
What did Obama ask Trump?
Hello guys. It's me, Donald fuckin' Trump. Ask me anything in the comments, guys.
Who made the most money from 9/11? The US government.
A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned to a discussion of job descriptions and promotion.
"What do you have to look forward to in way of a promotion in your job?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, I'm next in line for the Monsignor's job," replied the Priest.
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, next I can become Bishop," said the Priest.
"Yes, and then?" asked the Rabbi.
"If I work real hard and do a good job as Bishop, it's possible for me to become an Archbishop," said the Priest.
"O.K., then what?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest, beginning to get a bit exasperated, replied, "With some luck and real hard work, maybe I can become a Cardinal."
"And then?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest is really starting to get mad now and replies, "With lots and lots of luck and some real difficult work and if I'm in the right places at the right times and play my political games just right, maybe, just maybe, I can get elected Pope."
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Good grief!" shouted the Priest. "What do you expect me to become, GOD?"
"Well," said the Rabbi, "One of our boys made it!"
Why did the feminist get banned? For spreading conspiracy theories about the (non-existent) gender wage gap.
Putin's Brain:
Instead of Obama, it was supposed to be Osama. Pretending I got their names mixed up.
I would like to thank my favorite President Barack Obama. Sorry, Barack Obama and my uncle Obama bin Laden. I mean Osama bin Laden. Sorry, hummus in my throat.
What did Al-Shehhi say to Atta?
Our soon to be ex-Justice Minister is trying to distract us from his own misconduct charges by funding advocates for crime victims.
He should fund proctologists too because he'll likely need both after prison.
North Korea?
Like if you're voting Trump 2024! WOOOOO!
Obama: It smells like UpNigga in here...
Trump: What's UpNigga?
Obama: Omg did you say the n word?? Die!!!
What is the difference between Putin and an onion?
Nobody cries because of a cut Putin.
What's the difference between Putin and Hitler? I don’t know, you tell me.
"Joe Biden's mom is so fat, she's very fat folks, she's so fat I'm gonna use her to build my new wall"-Trump
Man, I hate the government.