New Politics Jokes - Page 30 - Worst Jokes Ever

I was rooting for Donald Trump to be president.

We haven't had a presidential assassination in a while.

What does Jim Kelly and Dick Cheney have in common? They both make terrible hunters

Why did Hitler get hit by a car? Because he did Nazi that coming!

What was the Roman Empire cut in half by?

A pair of Caesars.

What is the similarity between pink floyd and Donald trump: The best thing they did was a wall

Trying to make a baby talk is like trying to negotiate with North Korea.

"Jingle bells, Osama smells."

What is Trump's favorite snack?

Cheetos.

(Get it? He looks like a Cheeto!)

What did Hitler tell the eye doctor?

“I can na-zi.”

An American, a Cuban, a Russian, and a lawyer are sitting on a subway train, in the same seat. The Cuban pulls out a Cuban cigar for each person, and hands it out. The Cuban takes one puff of his cigar, and he throws it out the window. Everybody but the Cuban goes mad. "You just wasted an expensive Cuban cigar! How could you?" The Cuban simply says, "See, in Cuba, cigars are very cheap."

The other passengers are reassured and respond with, "Oh, OK."

The Russian takes out a small bottle of Russian vodka and pours a shot for all the passengers. The Russian downs his shot, and throws the vodka bottle out the window. The rest of the passengers are alarmed, once again. "You just destroyed an expensive bottle of Russian vodka! How could you?" The Russian simply states, "See, in Russia, vodka is very cheap." Yet again, the other passengers are reassured and respond with, "Ah, yes! Of course."

The American scratches his head and goes, "I think I see the pattern here." So he takes the lawyer, and he throws him out the window!

Hillary Clinton

I’ve two dogs and two cats, and they are all Democrats. They want a handout everyday.

Everyone's always saying they're so worried about America's big button, the one that controls all the nuclear power. I'm not worried about that... I'm worried about the idiot on the end of it.