Politics jokes

What's the difference between Putin and Hitler? I don’t know, you tell me.

"Joe Biden's mom is so fat, she's very fat folks, she's so fat I'm gonna use her to build my new wall"-Trump

Man, I hate the government.

What do you get when you cross a cow and the Kool-Aid Man? Donald Trump, cuz of his red face and juicy tits.

I can’t remember if I already said this or not. I might have already said this. Also, this is a true story.

So, I’m walking into a store in Amish country, and there’s this guy with a bear trap. Then my mom’s friend says, "This guy’s gonna catch some bears." Then the Amish guy stops, looks around, and whispers, “It’s for democrats.”

I can’t take credit for this joke; it’s not mine.

Remember that time Joe Biden fell off his bike? He said it’s not his fault. He blamed the tires for being too inflated.

Who will win the war: like for Russia, dislike for Ukraine?

We will win the war! 🇷🇺🇷🇺🇷🇺

What was Hitler's favorite part of the car? The gas tank.

Why did the French call Napoleon "Napo?" Because it is Napo[leon].

Thomas Jefferson’s 80th b-day bash be like:

Jackson: "CALHOUN! YOU’RE CHEATING ON ME - IN BED WITH THE CONSTITUTION??"

A 17 year old pregnant Juanita flew all the way to NY from TX to get an abortion. Initially, she was denied the procedure because she wasn't COVID boosted, but after she explained the father was religious and wanted to be involved, they quickly resolved the threat.

Look, I'm innocent. I was just going on vacation in NY, but my co-pilot said: "Hit it with your best shot."

*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*

Hey, can you Putin deez nuts?

Welcome to Joe's abortion clinic! No fetus can beat us! You make 'em, we take 'em!

Australian says to American: why do you have such bad gun laws?

American: Self defense.

Australian: Self defense against 50 innocent children?

Why is the Pentagon mad?

Because it didn't get two pizzas, but only one plane pizza.

How do you think Julius Caesar killed his enemies?..

With a pair of Caesars! 😂😂👌

What do you call a potato with a pp?

A dictator.