Politics jokes
Look, I'm innocent. I was just going on vacation in NY, but my co-pilot said: "Hit it with your best shot."
*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*
Hey, can you Putin deez nuts?
Welcome to Joe's abortion clinic! No fetus can beat us! You make 'em, we take 'em!
Australian says to American: why do you have such bad gun laws?
American: Self defense.
Australian: Self defense against 50 innocent children?
Why is the Pentagon mad?
Because it didn't get two pizzas, but only one plane pizza.
How do you think Julius Caesar killed his enemies?..
With a pair of Caesars! 😂😂👌
What do you call a potato with a pp?
A dictator.
What is Hitler's favorite letter?
Not-Z.
The teacher asks, "Who is a Trump fan?" Everyone in the class, wanting to be liked by their teacher, all put their hands up, except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks, "Little Johnny, why are you being different again?" Little Johnny says, "Because I'm not a Trump fan." The teacher asks, "Why are you not a Trump fan?" and Little Johnny says, "Because my dad's a democrat and my mum's a democrat so I'm a democrat." And then his teacher says, "So if your dad was an idiot and your mum was a moron, what would that make you?" And Little Johnny replies, "A Trump fan."
Why did Hitler kill himself? He knew the war was over at the beginning.
I don't get progressive leftists these days. They claim to be supporting BLM, but they aren't pro-life.
Did you know that former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.
Say what you will about Donald Trump, at least he's not Biden.
Everybody loves guns!
Every time I show them mine, they give me free stuff.
What's the main similarity between an elementary school math class and the USA?
The class divides.
If you ever feel useless... Just remember that if you ever feel useless... Just remember that it took the US 4 presidents, trillions of dollars, thousands of lives, and 20 years to replace the Taliban with... the Taliban.
What do Mexicans call a wall? A ladder.
Most controversial types of matter:
1. Dark matter 2. Anti-matter 3. Black Lives Matter.
What's the difference between me and the rest of America?
I love one and hate the other.