What do you call a country with nukes?
Abomination.
Politics Jokes
Hitler.
What’s heavy, black, and can’t swim?
Ted Kennedy’s Oldsmobile Delmont 88 with Mary Jo Kopechne trapped inside.
Why is the Nazi Anthem banned in Germany? Because Horst Wessel lied.
Say what you want about Hitler, but in the end, he did kill Hitler.
"Bippity Boppity Boo, Donald Trump is gonna deport you!"
Donald Trump is still the president, even after the government has been shut down.
What was the last thing to go through JFK's mind?
A bullet.
In Portuguese, "Trumpa" means bullshit.
Trump.
Get it because Trump is a joke hahaha, I am sooo bad!
Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks; they tell how many lies a person tells."
"Oh, cool."
"This is Mother Teresa's clock; the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense."
"This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."
"Where's Trump's clock?"
"Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.
Here's how to piss off all of North America.
All the United States is, is South Canadia.
If only Caesar hadn’t left home that day...
Imagine the Russians showing up late to the 1917 revolution with a Tsarbucks in hand. They were late, so I guess they weren't Russian. They were probably Stalin.
A thief walks up to a man in a suit and pulls out a gun. The thief says: "Give me your money." The man in the suit turns around surprised. He raises his hands and says: "But, wait! You can't do that, I am a Congressman!" The thief replies: "Oh, sorry. Give me MY money."
Sometimes you just need to take a drive through the city to clear your head.
-JFK
What do Communism, Socialism, Feminism, and Fascism all have in common?
They are all disabilities.
I was in my guitar class and my strings were dead, and then I realized they were more dead than George Bush on November 30, 2018.
Communist jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets them.
Want to hear a racist joke?
Donald Trump.
