You know it’s called the circle of life? Because there’s no point to it.
I try and try every day, but 5 keep coming out. There's so money at this point my walls are built of babies.
Me: "The villain has a point, you know."
Everyone else watching the WW2 documentary:
The reason they attacked the towers is because the terrorists thought the towers were giant middle fingers pointed at them. What silly saudis!
At one point in your life, you were exactly pi years old.
My friend was showing me his tool shed and pointed to a ladder. "That's my stepladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."
How do you break up a fight between two gay men?
Say, "Can you get straight to the point?"
Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.
Did you ever hear the story about the broken pencil?
That's okay. There is really no point to it.
Yo hairline so long that it doesn't have a stopping point.
The kid with a gun walked into my classroom and fucking shot the teacher.
He pointed the gun at me and asked, "What's 2+2?" I answer him and he writes the answer down on his test. He did this with every kid. He got a 100%, expelled, and a lifetime in prison. Hey, at least he gets free food.
I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age, but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.
Well on the positive side: the Mexicans will probably want to pay for, and build, that wall at this point! Maybe the Canadians as well; two free walls!
What happens when skeletons score points in a game?
They get a bone-us.
How it be when the new guy takes too long...
Hay Danny, it's me Johnny.
Johnny: Boss says to kill the guy in red. Point the gun at his head.
Danny: Ok, target locked. 3... 2... 1... bang.
Johnny: Danny, hope you did not get the man in red.
Danny: OH MY BRO FOR REALL.
Daughter: So, I got my period.
Mom: That's wonderful, dear! Now you can bleed for a whole week a month without dying!
Daughter: That's nice, Mum, but isn't the whole point of getting your period dying?
Mom: Yes, but you have to kill yourself a little longer to live through to another day.
Daughter: Thanks, Mum. That makes a whole lot of sense. (Sarcastically.)
Mom: You're welcome, honey. (Clueless, obviously.)
What do you call a AK-47 that lost 1 point? An AK-46
Why do we even live? We're just gonna die anyway, so what's the point?
I could tell you the one about the broken pencil... but it's pointless
A man is sitting in a chair. He is talking to the other freind about what they must cherish. One says he cherishes his family the other cherishes his parents and a man comes in points at the chair’s and says “I CHAIRish my Chair” as he pulls up a chair.
