One day, a girl was showering with her mom, she pointed at her mom's breasts and asked: "When can I get these?" Her mother replied: "In about 6 to 7 years when you grow up :)". The other day, the girl's showering with her dad, and she pointed at his penis and asked: "When can I get this?" Her dad looked around and replied:" In about 20 minutes when your mom leaves the house."
A Catholic priest finds a young boy crying at the top of a cliff.
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
The boy points down. “Mummy and Daddy were in the car and it went over the edge.”
The priest can see the flaming wreck below. He looks around and sees no one else is about and starts to unbutton his belt.
“It’s really not your day, is it?”
there was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was? she said well son do you see that guy over there across the road, go give him a high-five. Son said but I can't see. mom said that's the point
A few kids were talking about how big their houses were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. One little boy said, "Bet I have the biggest home." To everyone's surprise, he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.
A friend took me out to his shed and was showing me all his tools, when he pointed to a ladder. "that's my step ladder" he said "I never knew my real ladder."
Q: What's the difference between a knife and a woman arguing? A: A knife has a point
me: "the villain has a point you know"
everyone else watching the WW2 documentary:
i try and try every day.. but 5 keep comibg out theres so money at this point my walls are built of babies.
Why did the school shooter earn extra points? Bcz he was on a kill streak.
what do you call a depressed person's life
at this point, non-existent
You know it’s called the circle of life? Cuz there’s no point to it.
A father bought his depressed son a new house and then pointing at it he said "hang in there son".
A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "every time someone lies, it ticks once. Mother Teresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, "Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.
True story: my math teacher mr.ueberoth accidently marked a kahoot as 100 points in googleclass room instead of 10 if he doesnt find out the grades will be more hyper inflated than zimbobwa’s economy.
One day this kid says to his dad."Dad they bully at school.''His dad asks why.And the kid says''They bully me because I got no hands.''Then his dad says.''who would do such a thing like that,I want to know who they are point at them.''
The judge asked Bill Cosby for his defense. He used feminist talking points and said "My body, my choice" and "It's my right to privacy." The judge, being impartial, let Cosby go.
So little Johnny was on the bus, and the bus driver already hated him. So he started to talk to himself JUST loud enough for the bus driver to hear.
"If my dad was a bull, and my mom was a cow, that would make me... a little bull!"
"If my dad was a rooster, and my mom was a hen, that would make me... a little rooster!"
And by this point, the bus driver was fed up with him, so he said:
"Ok little Johnny, I got one for you: If your dad was a drunk, and your mom was a whore, what would that make you?"
Little Johnny smiled and said: "A bus driver!"
True fact: Five out of six people think Russian roulette is safe. (Russian roulette is a game where you put 1 bullet in a pistol that has 6 chambers each person spins it and try not to land on the bullet to find out if you got the bullet or not you point the gun at yourself and pull the trigger)
The school shooter points the gun at the emo kid while the shooter tries to shoot him the emo kid dodges the bullets like the matrix and takes the gun away from the shooter and shoots him self.
At this point, I don't want a funeral when I commit. I just want a going away party so people have an excuse to celebrate...
