Play jokes

What kind of trumpet are you playing?

An "Donald Trumpet"!

Bro, I love hanging out with white people, it's either we play Yahtzee, or we playin' Nazi.

Why do orphans play tennis? Because that's the only thing they love.

Why can't Jesus play hockey?

He keeps getting nailed to the boards.

Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, “Mommy, mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs, and my ball got away and into your closet. When I went to get it, Daddy came in with the lady next door, and they started hugging and kissing. The lady next door took off Daddy’s clothes, and Daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed. The lady next door got on top of Daddy and started...”.

The mother cuts him off and says, “Just stop right there. You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me.” A couple hours later, the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed. She walks up to him and slaps across the face, shouting, “I’m leaving you... Go ahead, Johnny, tell him what you told me earlier.” Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. “Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs, and my ball got away and into your closet. When I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door, and you both started hugging and kissing. The lady next door took off your clothes, and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed. The lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing Mom did with Uncle Joe last summer.”

Q. You know what really bugs me?

A. Insect puns.

Why are the UK and the USA bad at playing chess?

Because they lost 2 towers and their queen.

Why did the Drill Sergeant get in trouble?

He got caught playing with his Privates!

Why can’t orphans play poker? Because they don’t know what a full house is.

What instrument do orphans play?

The sax alone.

Me and a wheelchair person were playing tag, and I broke my leg so it can be fair for him.

What’s Helen Keller’s favorite game as a kid?

I spy.

Why can't an orphan play football? Because they don't have a dad or mom.

You know how there were like... two towers. I had so much fun playing Jenga in those planes! I WON!!!!!

Tigger was playing hide & seek, so he looked in the toilet, but all he found was Pooh.

Both man and woman have balls, but they like to play with the ball of each other because a person always loves what they don't have. 😁

You need to play a B flat, not a C sharp, you just got band!

What time do babies get dirty?

Playtime.

Men play video games to let their inner child out, while women do abortions.

Why don’t rappers play hide and seek?

Because good luck finding someone who’s always in the booth!