Play jokes
What do kids play when they can't play with a phone?
Bored games.
Why can't America play chess?
They're missing two towers.
One day, little Johnny was playing with his toys and looked out the window. He saw the neighbor's kid laying face-first in the grass, not breathing.
Little Johnny continued to shoot his nerf gun at the neighbor's big booty cheeks. No movement at all. After little Johnny went to get a snack, he looked out the window again and the kid was gone.
Little Johnny went to the neighbors and said, "I'm sorry to hear that your child has gone missing."
Bro, I love hanging out with white people, it's either we play Yahtzee, or we playin' Nazi.
Since Christopher Reeves can't play Superman, they got a new person: Christopher Walken.
Why do orphans play tennis? Because that's the only thing they love.
Why can't Jesus play hockey?
He keeps getting nailed to the boards.
Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, “Mommy, mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs, and my ball got away and into your closet. When I went to get it, Daddy came in with the lady next door, and they started hugging and kissing. The lady next door took off Daddy’s clothes, and Daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed. The lady next door got on top of Daddy and started...”.
The mother cuts him off and says, “Just stop right there. You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me.” A couple hours later, the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed. She walks up to him and slaps across the face, shouting, “I’m leaving you... Go ahead, Johnny, tell him what you told me earlier.” Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. “Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs, and my ball got away and into your closet. When I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door, and you both started hugging and kissing. The lady next door took off your clothes, and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed. The lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing Mom did with Uncle Joe last summer.”
Why did the Drill Sergeant get in trouble?
He got caught playing with his Privates!
Why can’t orphans play poker? Because they don’t know what a full house is.
Me and a wheelchair person were playing tag, and I broke my leg so it can be fair for him.
Why can't an orphan play football? Because they don't have a dad or mom.
What’s Helen Keller’s favorite game as a kid?
I spy.
You know how there were like... two towers. I had so much fun playing Jenga in those planes! I WON!!!!!
What instrument do orphans play?
The sax alone.
You need to play a B flat, not a C sharp, you just got band!
Tigger was playing hide & seek, so he looked in the toilet, but all he found was Pooh.
Men play video games to let their inner child out, while women do abortions.
Bill Clinton is no longer playing the saxophone.
He is now playing the whore-monica.
Why are the UK and the USA bad at playing chess?
Because they lost 2 towers and their queen.