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All doggie go to heaven -or so I've been told. They run and play along the streets of Gold. Why is heaven such a doggie-delight... Why,because there's not a single cat in sight.

director: hi. we are making a huge cliffhanger in this movie. actor: really? what do I do? director: you will play the part of the cliff (holds up hanging rope)

what do boobs and toys have in common?

kids end up playing with toys but adults end up playing with boobs.

what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back.

Lil Timmy and Lil Susie are taking a bath together. Lil Susie looks down and says, "Hey, what's that?" Lil Timmy looks down and says, "Oh, that, that's only my little red race car." They continue on with their bath.

Then Lil Timmy looks down and says, "Hey, what's that?" Lil Susie looks down and says, "Oh, that, that's only my little red race car garage." They continue with their bath. Then Lil Susie says, "Hey, what if we try to put your little red race car in my little red race car garage?"

The parents downstairs then hear a bloody scream. They rush upstairs and then say, "What's wrong?" Lil Susie says, "Well, Lil Timmy tried to put his little red race car in my little red race car garage but the back wheels wouldn't fit, so we cut them off."

My girlfriend told me to stop playing Pokemon as it was childish.

I started thrashing about and roared, “You don’t have enough badges to control me!”