Play jokes
What do children and lights have in common? They both hang from ceilings!
Not funny, here’s another.
Why can’t China play baseball? They ate the bat.
Adopted kid:
Hey, Alex, what are you doing?
Alex:
Nothing, just playing my game. Anyways, you know you can call me "dad."
Adopted kid:
OK, dad Alex.
Alex:
Oh, come on! My game! I’m winning. Let’s go!
Adopted kid:
I’m so glad I have a mom.
"Tibia" honestly, I think the reason I’m "bonely" is because you guys don’t find my jokes "humerus."
Maybe if I played the trombone it would get people’s attention, but "tibia" honest I can’t be bothered, so just look at my "BONE-zai" tree, although my brother doesn’t really like that one, so how about a "S-pine" tree?
After I am dead during my funeral service, I want someone to play my favorite song by Boy George and Culture Club, "Church of the Poison Mind."
I miss playing baseball.
Baseball is awesome!
My pathological cheater of a sister wanted to play a board game with me.
I turned her down because I didn't like the Risk involved.
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys? He was playing by ear.
Why can't Chinese play baseball?
Because they eat the bats.
A young, innocent little girl is playing hopscotch, and she says, "You step on a crack, you break your mama's back." Then she steps on a crack, so her mother's back proceeded to break slowly. Then she said, "You step on a line, you break your dada's spine," but the neighbor's spine broke, and in happiness, the thought-to-be previous father gets in his car and drives through the garage door...
Why can't Indians play football? Because every time they take a corner, they make a shop.
Hi 👋 I have some good idea 💡. What was the best game I’ve [played]?
Roses are red, violets are blue, When I see you, I play with my poo.
Why can't cheetahs play any games?
Because they're cheetahs!
Girl playing outside: "Step on a line and you break your mommy's spine." She then steps on a line and her mother keels over screaming.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a crack and you break daddy's back." She steps on a crack the mailman next door then keels over screaming.
The husband starts celebrating, gets in the car, and starts to drive away.
The son comes outside and steps on a crack.
The dad then dies in a car crash.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
What starts with the letter M, ends with -arriage and is a man's favorite thing? Miscarriage. That joke never gets old, just like the baby.
Two flies were playing football in a saucer. One tells the other, “You’ll need more practice if you want to play in the cup!”
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can never find home.
My friend loves playing Roulette, so I figured I would introduce him to Russian Roulette. Blew his mind.