Mom-go water the plants. Me-buts it’s raining outside. Mom-go grab the umbrella. Me-what???
Why couldn't the carrot go to his friend's house?
Because he was grounded.
Why do people want emo grass? Because it'll cut itself.
I talked to a future suicide bomber. I told him, "ISIS ain't got sh** on me because I planted a bomb and lived."
I like plants, but then I decided to turn over a new leaf and branch out.
Why couldn't the man get out of the maize maze?
He got corn-ered!
Trees are so social. They're always branching out.
My family is like a cactus; a bunch of pricks.
What did one tree say to the tree that was a bully? "LEAF me alone."
I guess that corn is a-maize-ing.
Why shouldn't you tell a secret in a corn field?
Because they are full of ears!
Now that was a corny joke.
And yes, it was rather a-maize-ing.
What is a tree's favorite thing to drink?
Root beer.
BEAN
What do you call a dead pine tree? A Nevergreen!
How do trees calculate square roots? They use log-arithms.
What's a pedophile's favorite type of garden?
A kindergarden.
What's the difference between a potted plant and your wife?
The first is easier to bury.
Humpty Dumpty felled off the wall, his mom did a terri-fried call. He got hurt in a egg-cident & it never got eggs-elent. When the eggs-plant was over, he got told to use the mower. It happened too fast, he watched the very last. Next he died, eaten all fried.
What's a skeleton's favorite plant? A bone-zai tree. But if they don't like that one, how about a s-pine tree?
If trees could kill you, they wood.
