Planet jokes
Yo forehead so big, NASA needed it for the new planet, stupid!
Want to know why some astronomers are gay?
It’s because they want to be in Uranus.
Who do the United States owe trillions of dollars to?
Jew-piter.
Kid to daddy: "Why do they call it Uranus?"
Daddy to kid: "Cause, son, it's Uranus."
What did Mars say to Saturn?
"Give me one of your rings!" 😄
My girlfriend has a huge crush on Jupiter, I mean she fell HARD!
What did the sun say to the Earth?
"Am I hot?"
A scientist discovered water on Mars. Mars 1, Africa 0.
Uranus is a gas giant.
Uranus floats around in space.
What day does Venus like?
SATURNday.
What is a pedophile's favorite planet?
Uranus.
I love you all the way to Uranus! 🤣
Three guys are standing in an alley on an alien planet, and the psycho one says, "However many tits your girl has is how many balls you have!"
The first guy says, "Ha! My girlfriend has six! I'm racked up!" The second guy said, "Eh, I am happy with two balls." The third guy said, "Shit! My girlfriend is flat as fuck!"
A guy listening in enters and says, "Bro, you actually have girlfriends. I do not. Does that mean I have a pussy?"
Many were curious about how methane ended up on Mars.
I'm pretty sure it was because of Uranus.
Teacher: What’s the closest planet?
Kids yell: Sun.
Except for one.
Other kid: Uranus.
Teacher: Uranus?
Other kid: Yeah, it’s right there.
What do astronauts 👩🚀 do when they’re on break?
They eat launch. 🚀🥪
"Yo mama is so fat that when I buried her, she made the Earth round."
Your hairline is so big, I couldn't find the area of it on Jupiter.
Why is Mars red and not orange? Because it would be too bright.